We Roll Tonight to the Gutter Bite

MY MOTHER:  How was bowling last night?

ME:  Good.

**GERMAN CATHOLIC MOTHER/DAUGHTER CONVERSATION TRANSLATION**

MY MOTHER:  Why do you look like you were dragged behind a rabid puma for 200 miles?

ME:  Because I let Alex Who Talks Real Pretty order the shots, and when you let an alumni Drum Major order the shots, you wind up yelling through the window of an open car door at the current one, "Can you just drive me around Columbus for like half an hour until I can feel my hands again?"

Sorry, Jason.