Reader Question Madness
Saturday, December 10, 2011 at 12:56AM What does Jason The Ridiculously Young Drum Major think about…
...the restoration of Carmen Ohio (Clyde, Xavier The Reader, and Githy)
...his final ramp entrance (JV)
...Ohio State’s bowl assignment/The Gator Bowl (many The Readers)
...being the leading man of this book (Heather The Reader and Tigon)
...whether he prefers football games or smaller performances like the concerts (BelleNation)
...Urban Meyer (MAAAAAANY The Readers)
...coaching people who are also his friends (GoBucks!)
...being an alum Drum Major (Savoy The Reader)
...Luke Fickell as head coach (roderick)
...his favorite performance of the year (Keck)
...the Michigan game (CarmenOhio, Yancy The Reader, and Compy)
Miss Belle, what was your favorite off-field D Row moment of the season? (sugarplum)
Did Our Jason see you at the bottom of the ramp? If so, did that add any signficiance to the moment given the path the two of you have walked together? (Ned The Reader)
Mary Beth, what kind of Amazing Duo Adventures have you been having with Our Jason? (Greta The Reader)
This string of fairly simple questions requires, in true Blonde Champagne tradition, an incredibly complex response.
First, let me remind you that as I’ve mentioned before, one of the most difficult aspects of working on this book has been negotiating the emotional currents within this band. Sometimes I'd come into the rehearsal hall and see an entire row not looking at one another; other days it was obvious that the whole Band was under a cloud. I never delved into any of this, because 1) none of my business 2) not the kind of book I'm writing. Besides, such sine waves are to be expected when dealing with a roomful of A-type personalites, all of whom are immensely talented.
That said, some of the questions relating to Jason and Drum Majoring in general, ones which don’t appear in this list, seem to assume that I interacted with him over the past few months more than I actually did. In reality, we have not had a chance to sit down with one another since September. The days flew so quickly that I surprised myself when I checked my notes and realized that.
Now Jason, I imagine, is decompressing from the regular season while taking finals. I’m not going to barge up to him demanding his thoughts on stuff like this right now. Maybe in the coming months or past tryouts he will be open to sitting down and speaking to some of this… maybe he won’t… but for the moment, let us leave the man to his textbooks, his PlayStation, and his eggnog. He has more than earned it.
Jason Stuckert is the Drum Major, but I sense that he strives to prevent being the Drum Major to solely define him. He is a complex, more-than-meets-the-eye person who is more intelligent than he gives himself credit for.
Jason takes his position as Drum Major extremely seriously and understands his responsibilities both to Ohio State as well as to the Band. It was important to him to avoid even the appearance of elevating himself over the Band as a whole. He has learned well the lesson of some of his predecessors, lessons which now exist as warnings so embedded in the program that I heard them several different times from several different people:
1) You can have a band without a Drum Major, but you can’t have a Drum Major without a band.
2) Cocky on the field. Humble off.
As spring became summer and summer became tryouts, our relationship underwent a significant shift, one which I was expecting. Unless I badly misinterpreted, Jason seemed to increasingly express through his actions that he preferred me to remain for the most part in the background, and I fully understood and accepted that. I think part of the reason was that he joined me in my goal to get to know the rest of the Band, and that wasn’t going to happen if I was forever huddled up with D Row.
And both of us had, in the words of one of my longtime The Readers, $*#& to do. In addition to rehearsals with the Band, Jason needed to tend to classes, his individual practice, responsibilities to OSU, D Row dinners, and bonding with the rest of the Band—he was quite dedicated to pulling all the rows together, and that meant spreading his time with all 225 of his bandmates throughout the season. And I had notes to make sense of, courses to plan, papers to grade, fellowship and residency requirements to fulfill, posts to write, interviews to arrange and conduct, research to do, and bandsmen to feed as well as bond with myself. You know.... $*#& to do.
In addition, at the beginning of the season, I promised Jason space. I did my best to keep that promise. I don’t know how well I did. I saw him very briefly at the end of each game day when he and Kyle Who Owns stood at the door of the Band Center as the members filtered past after dismissal. Sometimes we happened to wind up in the same conversational group at rehearsals or concerts, or I yelled at him to grab one of the cookies I brought to practice, or I threw bottled water at him or Kyle because D Row seemed otherwise occupied. But early in the season, I came to adopt a daily unofficial policy of not interacting with Jason unless he first came to me.
I violated that in Ann Arbor: Once to flag him down in the Big House when Michigan’s Drum Major was looking for him, and again that night on the trip back to Columbus, when I passed him on my way to talk to somebody else. He seemed, as you might expect, less than thrilled with the outcome of the game. So I paused to share some compliments about his performance that I’d overheard that day. But other than that, conversation, especially of the type you have grown used to reading about in the off season, did not happen-- nor did I really expect it to. He was sweet enough to catch up with me online a couple of times, and that always made me smile.
I did take Jason’s picture much more than I otherwise would have because his family was lovely about telling me that they greatly enjoyed seeing the shots I grabbed of him during rehearsals (and they, in turn, took pictures of me… taking pictures of the Band.) I realized that these were the people who had been supporting him since he first picked up a baton, and that I was privileged to see him backstage and in “everyday” moments they were not. So in that sense, I often took a second to be their eyes as he quickly reached the apogee of his DM career.
It was also the history minor in me leaping to the fore; these moments would never pass this way again for Jason in this extraordinary position of his as the Ohio State Drum Major, and I think he was too busy living them to worry about creating any kind of permanent record. What I fail to capture for him and the 2011 Band in words, I hope that I have done so in some small way pictorially.
D Row seemed to follow Jason’s lead regarding interaction and socializing. We often spoke on the sidelines, under the stands during games, and backstage during concerts about all sorts of TBDBITL and non-TBDBITL things, the content of which will remain off the record, but “after hours” we all went our separate ways—which, again, I expected. They didn’t invite; I didn’t ask.
As a matter of fact, I loosely took this approach with the rest of the Band as well, but very soon individual members and groups within rows began to reach out to me, both in person during practice and performance situations as well as online. Due to the tight ties, I let the Band know I was there, then backed away and let the members come to me. Some bandsmen ignored me… some smiled and waved across the practice field but came no closer… and many, much more than I expected, opened their arms and welcomed me in. I was thrilled and honored to spend time off the field with many of them.
But it took a bit to reach this balance. At first it was a situation which was… okay, weird, and in ways that had absolutely nothing to do with “gathering information” or writing a book.
I’m an outsider to the Band and completely understand that I shall forever remain so; the row traditions and tight-knit structure of the Band create a vacuum-sealed closeness specifically for the purpose of uniting it, and that’s one of the reasons why it’s so magnificently good. I had a foot in both worlds. But at the same time, I was experiencing emotional connections with many individual members and groups which far transcended what a reporter feels while “working on a story”—this prediliction of mine is one of the main reasons why I lasted about a nanosecond in actual journalism and blessedly swerved into literary nonfiction.
To the Band (and this includes Jason), I am technically a “media person,” but one with great passion for her subject, a subject which happens to be other 225 human beings. And in order to write the kind of book I am going to write—about the emotional and personal impact of this organization—I needed to open myself up to those 225 human beings, plus alumni, all former cultural enemies... and directly in the wake of several significant personal losses. That was tremendously scary; I knew it would pave a road for rejection, ridicule, and hurt, all of which did indeed come my way.
But the payoff isn’t just the material for a book; it’s the changes it brought me… the healing, the gift of the incredible, inspiring people it has been my honor to meet. The 2011 Ohio State University Marching Band has been the greatest, most beautiful surprise of not just my career, but my entire life.
However, the initial manner in which I went about reaching out to people, especially in the beginning, wasn’t always effective. I dearly wish I had a do-over. Initially I placed far too much emphasis on social media, since early on there were huge gaps between my trips to Columbus, and that was the only form of connection I had. Often I was impatient and socially tone deaf and… well… me. I had to force myself out of my usual terror of talking to people in getting-to-know-you situations within a situation which was already emotionally charged. (And then, as we all know, I brilliantly added alcohol to the mix. WINNING!) It was a struggle in many ways, and not without tears. But, again-- well worth it.
I had to learn to simultaneously maintain an open posture and distance. Normally, if a person I have come to care about is on the brink of a major public performance with enormous emotional and career implications, I'll try to provide some semblance of moral support. It means a great deal when people cheer for me like that for me in my life, especially when occupying the same physical space for hours on end, day after day. And much to my delight, many bandsmen reciprocated that kind of affection, so I concentrated my energy there. But, as I mentioned in September, where at least Jason is concerned, my role in showing support was to stay out of his way. Since I respected Jason’s position as Drum Major as well as him as a person, I tried to meet him (or, as the case may be, not meet him) on his terms.
Again, I don’t know how well I did. I’ve never been in this kind of relationship before, and neither, I imagine, has Jason. But this is a person I would want get to know and spend time with even if neither one of us had ever heard of The Ohio State University Marching Band. I hope he and many of the people I’ve met along the way will want to remain in one another’s lives long after this book is on the shelves, as has been the case with others I’ve worked with on similar projects. Bottom line... I did what I could to honor Jason’s role and the wide swath of emotional territory surrounding it.
And so to answer your question: No, I do not know what the 2011 Drum Major thinks of Urban Meyer.
Reader Comments (21)
Beautifully written........poignant and introspective. The meaning that surrounds this point in your life gets deeper each and every time you write about it. :)
"Beautifully written........poignant and introspective."
Agreed.
This is... wow.
Mary Beth, I had no idea that you and Jason were not in constant close discussion. Absolutely no clue. That's kind of stunning.
This makes your post about being backstage at the concert in Columbus all the more amazing to me. You were still able to pick up on where Jason was emotionally even though you hadn't had any quality time in a couple months.
Your bond is very special.
Mary Beth, I had no idea that you and Jason were not in constant close discussion.
...I did.
Mary Beth and I met when she was doing some writing for my company when she was right out of grad school. (She was amazing, terrific writer and a beautiful and hilarious lunch date, we used to fight over who got to go on lunch meetings with her.) I had some business at OSU so she met me for a late lunch and dropped me at campus when she went to the band practice building at the Shoe. She showed me the lobby where there are all these cool displays about the band. People kept waving at her or coming up to give hugs or say hi. All of a sudden she paused in what she was saying and looked up and smiled but just as fast she wasn't smiling and Jason walked past. I said "wasn't that Jason The Awesome? Did you guys fight or something" and she said that it was him but no everything was completely fine. I must have looked surprised I guess because she said something like "you have no idea of what he has to deal with, he's a great guy but in drummajor mode and this is a big week, don't worry I'm used to it" and then changed the subject really fast. That whole thing makes much more sense now.
Mary Beth Ellis is one of the most brilliantly passionate women I ever met.I could tell by the way that she talked about the band that this project means tons and tons to her, waaaaaaaay beyond just a book, so to be willing to "meet on their terms" says a huge amount about her, and the respect she has for Jason and everybody else. The look on her face when she recognized Jason The Awesome coming through the door even though he walked past like he never met her left no doubt in my mind that she sees him as a friend and a person she really does like, not as "a writing subject" or a means to an end. She is genuine and extremely understanding.
I have worked with many many writers and journalists and nobody would ever give a fraction of what she has. Media folk can be some of the rudest self-serving people I know but Mary Beth is different, I don't even think of her as "media". She really thinks about everyone as human beings and is a class act. TBDBITL you are awesome and I love to read what she has to say about you. GO BUCKS
Please tell me there's an entire book in the works about Jason Stuckert, Mary Beth Ellis, and the Michigan Drum Major all occupying the same time and place.
Wow, I have to say that's surprising, but you don't get to be as good as Jason is without being able to focus. Very insightful Miss Belle.
That is a little weird; I just assumed that if, for instance, Our Jason and D Row were going to lunch together after rehearsal or whatever, every now and then they'd just say "Hey, come along!" to MB. But if MB is understanding about it then I am too. I bet Our Jason and TBDBITL kicks a whole lotta ass in Jacksonville :)
I love your honesty about the early days of meeting people, Tink. So many people would have just said "Well this didn't go perfectly, screw 'em, it's their fault." But you looked at the whole situation from all possible sides and went in with an attitude of gratitude and humility. That's rare for your generation, I think.
I had never thought about your relationship with Our Jason like this, Mary Beth: You met on unequal terms, with you learning a lot about him and his world, but it wasn't necessarily the other way around. A lot of people, me included, would get very frustrated very quickly, but it sounds like your respect and understanding was able to bridge the gap.
That's why you're you... and I'm still single...
It was important to him to avoid even the appearance of elevating himself over the Band as a whole.
It sounds like BOTH MB and Jason The Ridiculously Awesome put Band over self... she got that none of this was "about her" and kept going and put them in the drivers seat. Brava/bravo to them both.
Please tell me there's an entire book in the works about Jason Stuckert, Mary Beth Ellis, and the Michigan Drum Major all occupying the same time and place.
Right? I about fell out of my chair when I read that. Welcome to MB's Surreal World.
I... could not do this, MB.
"Please tell me there's an entire book in the works about Jason Stuckert, Mary Beth Ellis, and the Michigan Drum Major all occupying the same time and place"
I mean, when she said the answer was complex, I had no idea it involved the apocalypse.
Geesh, it sounds like trying to get a wild animal to eat out of your hand.
Dear MB, you do realize you had to face up to some of your biggest fears during this process? You are amazing.
it sounds like trying to get a wild animal to eat out of your hand
OSUMB Drum Majors cannot be tamed.
I had a foot in both worlds
I would have drank far, far more than you ever did Tink!
"Cocky on the field. Humble off. "
Judging from the vids, anyway, JasonTheAwesome doesn't even strike me as being cocky ON the field. Just someone having the time of his life!
"I bet Our Jason and TBDBITL kicks a whole lotta ass in Jacksonville :)"
+1, I really hope at least some of TBDBITL is on TV.
Beautifully written........poignant and introspective.
Perfect word choice, Wiserlemming. "Poignant" to me means sad but understanding-- able to integrate honestly integrate everything and see life for what it is, the painful and the joyful.