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Attention, Michael Buble: When Women Say They Want Your Seed, I'm Fairly Certain This Isn't What They Had in Mind

This pains me so.  He might be systematically destroying society major metropolitan area by major metropolitan area, but he's just so goshdarn cute and unAutotuned.

But Mike, we must have a discussion about the... seed cards:



First of all, you're not the only MB in this world, you know?  Kindly bear that in mind:  Whatever you put your initial on... MY initials are on there too.  This was originally one of the reasons I stare at your concert DVDs without blinking for 90 minutes, okay?  You're unpretentious.  You will mock the men in your own audience who have clearly been dragged to the foot of your stage by their wives and paid $1500 for the privilege.  You know what's up.

And listen, I'm a Jimmy Buffett fan.  I'm inured to the $7.99 Lost Shaker of Salt for sale in the gift shops of musically branded hotelresortrestaurantcafebarcasinos. I was a New Kids on the Block fan, Buble.  There were action figures.  And PLLOWCASES.  I am not easily horrified by capitalistic exploitation, kiddo.  You can have your stainless steel water bottle, your soy candles, and your dog accessories.  But... seed cards?  A non-ironical bridge too far, sir.  A bridge too far.

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