Attention, Michael Buble: When Women Say They Want Your Seed, I'm Fairly Certain This Isn't What They Had in Mind

This pains me so.  He might be systematically destroying society major metropolitan area by major metropolitan area, but he's just so goshdarn cute and unAutotuned.

But Mike, we must have a discussion about the... seed cards:

{{IMG}}

First of all, you're not the only MB in this world, you know?  Kindly bear that in mind:  Whatever you put your initial on... MY initials are on there too.  This was originally one of the reasons I stare at your concert DVDs without blinking for 90 minutes, okay?  You're unpretentious.  You will mock the men in your own audience who have clearly been dragged to the foot of your stage by their wives and paid $1500 for the privilege.  You know what's up.

And listen, I'm a Jimmy Buffett fan.  I'm inured to the $7.99 Lost Shaker of Salt for sale in the gift shops of musically branded hotelresortrestaurantcafebarcasinos. I was a New Kids on the Block fan, Buble.  There were action figures.  And PLLOWCASES.  I am not easily horrified by capitalistic exploitation, kiddo.  You can have your stainless steel water bottle, your soy candles, and your dog accessories.  But... seed cards?  A non-ironical bridge too far, sir.  A bridge too far.

Comments

[PacFan]

oh dear Zeus

[K The Reader]

Actually this is kind of awesome. Now I know he isn't perfect and can tell my wife so. WTF, Buble?

[ITJP]

must.... resist... obvious... Matt the Baddas Drum Major and Jason The Ridiculously Young Drum Major... entire human race... sperm donor... references... to... avoid... lifetime... banning....

[JaneyInNV]

I like how the description makes sure we understand that the seeds are plantable.

[Yitaca]

"must.... resist... obvious..."

We are going to have SO MUCH FUN in hell together. Save me a seat?

[BallroomBlitzer]

"Whatever you put your initial on... MY initials are on there too. "

See, this is what happens when people don't check with you, MB.

[Blonde Champagne]

"See, this is what happens when people don't check with you, MB."

It's not like I don't keep warning people, right? But no, over and over again, it keeps happening: Ethnic cleansing, communism, Official Michael Buble Seed Card Packs.

[Team Jason The Ridiculously Young Drum Major!]

Dude, they're on SALE! This changes EVERYTHING!!!!!!!

[Reenie]

OK, what does this post think it knows about me that the ads at the top of the page are advertising hemorrhoid cream?

[Wataba]

Mine's offering "Piles Removal." I don't know what that is. I don't want to. But somehow, I know that Michael Buble and his seed packs are responsible.

[Mike the Long-Term Reader]

His seeds are just lame ripoffs of Harry Connick Jr.'s seeds.

[Blonde Champagne]

ooooohhhhhhhhh, SNAP-- and I thought the Michigan vs. Ohio State Drum Major throwdown was bad....

[GoBucks!]

OK, so, this was worth it just for the "Michel Buble Destroys Society" link.

[Orion]

but my life was cold and flat
please buy one of my seed packs

[prettyfly4awriteguy]

Mary Beth, you hate stupid things better than anybody ever.

[Jeremiah The Brother-In-Law]

Hmmm.....they cut the price from 14.99 to 10.99.....must not be selling......gee, wonder why?

[KansasQT]

Yeah, remind me to pretty much never piss you off, MB.