The URL Re-Up is Due. Oh, and Also, Please Stop Making Me Look at That Same Cow.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011 at 1:16PM I am... so sorry.
I'm so sorry I'm bringing this up to you in this, the season of Accountant Carnivale, but I'm looking at all the travel I need to do for the rest of the year and I'm looking at the fact that Josh The Pilot's car needed a new serpentine belt and... (squinches eyes shut) IamafraidImustaskyoutomaybethinkabouthittingthePayPalTipJar.
I hate this, I honestly do, especially because the last time I went all Catholic grade school magazine subscription sale on you guys, you amazed, humbled, and forever indebted me with your generosity. And just now, when I looked up that post to link it, I was shocked to see that it's from a little over a year ago. I could have sworn the Great Lease-Breaking Crisis of 2010 actually took place in 2009-- that's how jerked around we've been over the past twelve months: Ryan Seacrest's Horrible Non-Rockin' New Year's Eve no longer has any meaning. Josh The Pilot and I needed over $1500 in seven days to cover the sudden move due to his job transfer, and we had what we needed in two. That happened because of you.
I want to emphasize here that we are fine (MOM.) There is a roof up above me right now and edible if somewhat unidentifiable leftovers in the fridge (MOM.) There is no financial crisis at the moment (MOM.) But the thing is, I am writing this book on spec--without an advance--and, alas, teleportation has not yet become an option. This next year will involve a great deal of back-and-forthing, and in many ways we are still recovering from the dozen or so different address labels we piled up over the past year.
So while we are incredibly grateful for the Blessings Avalanche we have somehow incurred but in no way deserve, I find myself scrabbling for hack work I normally would not in order to make the month meet the money. And that takes its toll in a number of ways. This summer, for example, I will find myself back in the clutches of The Great Stack. Yes, I shall lie back in Advance Placement Exam's bedchamber once more and think of Bank of America, stipend whore that I am. The Parade of Wonderful Student Statements is a popular staple here, but oh how I wished to avoid it. And that's eight days from working on this new project, plus the incalculable energy debt I always incur after running Mental Numbery While In the Presence of People obstacle courses such as this. In the meantime I'm loaded to the breaking point with the teaching (six courses at once, now) and, yes, the hack work.
Please, give me some breathing space.
It's things like... I can't afford to fly to Ohio every time I need to go back up there, so for this next trip, I'll be driving... but then, the gas... and the new tires for The Millennium Bridesmobile... and the motel at the halfway point... and so on and so forth. You see how this unfolds. And to be perfectly honest with you, I promise I won't do anything stupid (well. Stupider than usual) but it would be much, much easier on me to be able to stay overnight in Columbus every now and then rather than hauling it back and forth to Cincinnati. I do love my home state but watching the same cow whiz past at 2 AM that I just saw 18 hours ago becomes, well, draining.
I've had two industry people in the past several weeks tell me what an idiot I am to not monetize the site better, which of course means to obnoxify it. I've been advised to go to a subscription format and sign your souls over to the pop-up demons. Reeeealllllly don't want to do either of these things. I like our Tasting Room. I like the relative lack of ads (but, to be perfectly honest? That Google banner at the top of the site? Would cover a single pretzel in a single bag on a single commuter flight.)
Most non-news, creative content-driven blogs like this one stage semi-annual fundraisers, or at the very least enlist co-bloggers to shake the tip jar every now and then. I flinch at both those things because I feel that I am writing for friends. At the same time, I don't want to be That Author who starts to hold over premium content to the haves and throw the single-sentence posts over to the have-nots. We're all on this ice floe together. But still... bank account.
According to the analytics, if just the new The Readers out of Ohio alone in the past three months or so kick in, like, $1.50 apiece, we'll be in good shape. So: Group project, kids. It's murder out there, I know, and again, I am so sorry, but if you have $5 between the gin and the gym membership, I would surely appreciate it.
I thank you for your time and attention, O my people. You may now return to your regularly scheduled discussion of Drum Majors And How They Are Awesome.
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Reader Comments (15)
....Oh I see how it is, MB. You get everybody all riled up with Matt The Badass' Greatest Hits, mix in a few yummy pictures, and THEN hit us up for cash.
I see what you did there....
"it would be much, much easier on me to be able to stay overnight in Columbus every now and then rather than hauling it back and forth to Cincinnati."
If any of these drum majors have one brain cell and one particle of testosterone to rub together they are blowing up your phone right. now. to offer couch space.
"I see what you did there...."
She's broke, not stupid.
OK, The Readers, you heard the lady. Ante up!
Beer for Matt!
Beer for Stew!
Beer for Josh!
Pancakes for Jason!
Baton cozies for Nate and David!
Mani-pedi for Claudia!
"According to the analytics, if just the new The Readers out of Ohio alone in the past three months or so kick in, like, $1.50 apiece, we'll be in good shape."
Oh, honey, are you sure? the thing with the math.....
Mary beth I do not think you are exploring all your options. In another thread somebody mentioned this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ZRs__rmYMc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ZRs__rmYMc
Get that ice or else no dice!
...you're grading the AP exam again?!
Parade of the Horrible Student Statements, YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
...I mean, wow, that sucks, MB.
"Pancakes for Jason!"
Hahahaha awwwwwwww poor guy.
Donation done. Not much, but hope it helps.
I'm practice reading essays in one of my education classes. All the mind-numbing, none of the payment.
Take care!
Awwwww, thanks! Like I said, this is a group project, so NOTHING is "not much." I greatly appreciate it.
You should consider other avenues of transportation --the bus, train, floo powder...
What?
Anyway, we the Readers have been left worrying that you might be snoozing in front of the wheel. Or maybe you asked the drum major lads to concoct a marching playlist that you play on your iPod at real-life volume?
I can tell you from experience, floo powder stains carpets and is hell to get off the hardwood floors.
LMAO @ RedPill and Amy Lou!! Too funny. You guys are the best.