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Friday
Feb042011

Kohl's: Is Your 12 Year Old Girl Overweight, Self-Hating? Roman Polanksi Has a Fashion Tip!

What a delight to hit the Kohl's main site and find this shiznit flickering out at me:

<<IMG>>

Thirty-five percent off indeed. 

1)  I'm no prude, okay, but golly, one of my primary regrets of not being a mother is that I won't have the grand opportunity to parade my daughter's bra strap to eligible mates in the 12-97 year old age bracket.

2)  Even if, as I suspect, this isn't actually the young lady's bra strap, and it is in fact a fake one built into the top, and this is just something that All The Kids These Days are wearing... YOU HUSSIES GET OFF MY LAWN. 

3)  When I was this age, showing one's bra strap was considered a humiliating fashion faux pas.  You might as well go out in public without your parachute pants.  It was Ultimate Redneck.   Now?  Off-the-rack hobaggery, aimed directly at girls who are struggling with their appearance at the worst possible time to be struggling. I look forward to the next fashion trend, which will doubtless involve unblown noses and permanent nip slips.

4)  I applaud the subtlety in the name of the product line,  "Self Esteem."  Rejected titles:

  • Jail Bait Big 'n' Wide
  • Bulimia Grrrrrrl
  • Fetish Formers
  • No Man Will Ever Love You

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