Pre- Ohio State Interviews Novena to St. Francis de Sales, Patron of Writers (minor markups included)
Sunday, February 20, 2011 at 4:44PM O Blessed Francis de Sales, I am having my usual pre-interview freakout; for they are everything horrible about a job interview combined with everything horrible about a first date, whipped together with the creamy nougat center of everything horrible about every single business meeting ever. I SUCK AT THEM.
Who in your mortal life managed to publish without a Kindle campaign and excelled in all virtues,
especially in love of God and of neighbor --it must be truly awesome to not be so easily terrified by strangers.
I earnestly entreat you to take me under your immediate protection, and especially assist me in avoiding a pre-interview prep which consists of throwing up twice, the way I did before I talked to Michael J. Nelson; that would be GREAT.
I ask of you to obtain from God my perfect conversion, and, seriously, the lack of hurling would be much appreciated.
That what our endeavors emails cannot obtain may be given us by intercession or at a bar; there is a reason why I strive to conduct all interviews in bars.
Through Christ our Lord.
Amen.
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Reader Comments (18)
A-MEN
awwwww!
MB is totally nervous about interviewing Jason The Ridiculously Young Drum Major and Matt the Badass!
that is so CUTE!
Mary Beth, I have to say I am laughing here at the idea of you freaking out. I was at one of your readings a couple years ago and you were kind, sweet, smart, real, AND FUNNY. I'd say that people should rather be nervous about meeting you, but that would suggest that they wouldn't be utterly charmed, as my buddies and I were.
If strangers really do terrify you, then you must be one hell of an actress.
(running laps around the thread burning off adrenaline from being PUMPED, SO SO PUMPED about next week's posts)
Alcohol.
Lots and lots of alcohol.
Safe travels, MB! can't wait to hear about it turns out: )
Man, I wish I were Catholic. You guys have lobbyists for EVERYTHING.
Tink, if you throw up all over Jason The Ridiculously Young Drum Major, particularly if he's in uniform and performing at the time, Michigan will build a statue to you in the middle of campus.
Offer's on the table.
This is what happens when you work on a national holiday.
Let this be a lesson to you.
"Lots and lots of alcohol."
Well, the end result would be the same, but I'd certainly have more fun in the process.
"I earnestly entreat you to take me under your immediate protection, and especially assist me in avoiding a pre-interview prep which consists of throwing up twice, the way I did before I interviewed Michael J. Nelson; that would be GREAT."
If I were Mike Nelson, I'd be totally flattered, knowing I had the magic ability to make others spew.
MB,
I would say, "Relax dear Love," but know that would be completely usless. So, since you are going to do your pre interview ritual no matter what, I say, eat crackers and have ginger ale on stand by. (I hope you don't need them but crackers aren't nearly as bad on the reverse as say, taco bell.)
Also, since the gov't was nice enough to plan the Federal Holiday on my birthday this year, I give you dispensation to write on my special day. (But only so long as you dedicate tomorrow's post to me.)
Good Luck my friend, I am looking forward to this week's posts.
Love, KB
"you must be one hell of an actress"
I sure am! Just as my husband! (rimshot, be here all week, try the steak, tip your waitress, some assembly required)
"(But only so long as you dedicate tomorrow's post to me.)"
I want to see the vodka you promised me on Facebook first.
"you were kind, sweet, smart, real, AND FUNNY"
...but... you didn't say that I'm pretty.
WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY THAT I'M PRETTY?!!?!?!?
(bursts into tears, runs out of thread)
"WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY THAT I'M PRETTY?!!?!?!?"
Mary Beth, you have got to deal with the fact that you have a great personality.
OhhhhMGAH what will you WEAR? (eyeroll)
"what will you WEAR"
If she's smart? Not much.
Walk away from the Michigan offer MB!! Walk. Away. :)