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Sunday
Feb202011

Pre- Ohio State Interviews Novena to St. Francis de Sales, Patron of Writers (minor markups included)

O Blessed Francis de Sales, I am having my usual pre-interview freakout; for they are everything horrible about a job interview combined with everything horrible about a first date, whipped together with the creamy nougat center of everything horrible about every single business meeting ever.  I SUCK AT THEM.

Who in your mortal life managed to publish without a Kindle campaign and excelled in all virtues,  

especially in love of God and of neighbor --it must be truly awesome to not be so easily terrified by strangers.

I earnestly entreat you to take me under your immediate protection, and especially assist me in avoiding a pre-interview prep which consists of throwing up twice, the way I did before I talked to Michael J. Nelson; that would be GREAT.

I ask of you to obtain from God my perfect conversion, and, seriously, the lack of hurling would be much appreciated.

That what our endeavors emails cannot obtain may be given us by intercession or at a bar; there is a reason why I strive to conduct all interviews in bars.

Through Christ our Lord.

Amen.

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