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    by Mary Beth Ellis
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She Takes My Paci

At some point after Sam The Baby Nephew was born, we realized that it might be best to avoid addressing Will The Small Child Nephew as "Baby Will."  Not only was he no longer the baby, we feared that this might lead to some sort of inferiority complex, or a Bill Medley dance finale.  But it was hard to do when he'd do things like rush at me with his doll, saying, "Aunt Beth, will you hold me and Baby?"  I was at this point legally required to hold out my arms, call him Baby Will, and ovulate.

He's four now, and slowly moving into big brotherhood.  It's taking him far longer than Jim The Nephew to assume this role; for one thing, it's somewhat difficult to boss around a nine month old ("Sam doesn't listen," Jim announces in disapproving tones.)

However, every now and then Will will feel his middle child oats.  Recently he and his brothers were visiting with Sam's first date, Cammy, the year-old daughter of Julie The NephewsMama's college roommate.  Cammy and Sam were originally introduced at a hockey game, and Sam was, I'm afraid, inexcusably rude.  He slept the entire time and didn't even offer to pick up the check.

We have now experienced the wrath of the woman scorned; as it happens, Cammy dislikes seeing any child but herself with a pacifier, and upon this second meeting, took it upon herself to relieve Sam of his.  This, understandably, did not sit well with Sam, and Will was forced to go medieval on someone's Pull-Ups.

"Don't do that to my brother," he commanded.  He did not, technically, add "...beeyotch." I prefer to think it was implied.

Now I ain't sayin' she a golddigga, but she ain't messin' with no broke German Catholic preschoolers.

winning the Super Bowl and driving off in a Hyundai at:  mbe@drinktothelasses.com

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Reader Comments (2)

MB, thanks for always making me laugh! Great post as always!

September 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSara

[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Josh Hunter, Mary Beth Ellis. Mary Beth Ellis said: It Just Takes Some Time: http://wp.me/pc73N-Lm [...]

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