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« Teh Puppehs Earn Their Keep | Main | Teh Puppies »
Tuesday
Sep282010

Why Puppehs Are Cute

Breeding Snob Issues UPDATE:  Kindhearted, adoption-prone starnarcosis The Reader asks what breed The Puppehs might be.  The people at the shelter told us that the poor uterine-exhausted OctoMama Dog is a boxer, and that the rest of the mix is, in delicate doggie adoption parlance, "currently under investigation."  Which means:  Mama be a bitch ho, or quite possibly a ho bitch.   But I think Pimp Puppeh Daddy was also a boxer, which leads me to classify these particular puppehs as "boxer briefs" and OctoMama as a boxer racial supremacist.

*****


So there were these poop-generating sentient beings in my rented house, the house which the owners expected us to vacate within an hour's notice in the event of a realtor showing.  The sentient beings, I decreed, were about to become extremely familiar with the backyard.  I've done a cowgirl's work, with actual cows on the back of an actual horse, but I was beginning to develop the distinct impression that an Appaloosa and yelling "GIT" wasn't going to speed any semblance of the crate-loading process.

Unloading, as previously established, the puppehs were good at.  When Josh The Pilot and I released them into the yard, everybody scattered and started peeing, including me.

Josh has a right powerful smartphone, but it's not tremendously puppy-suited:


So we switched to this ancient device known as "a camera":

So this is how you know that you have too many puppies:  They don't all fit in the frame, and you don't even notice.  You get like half a tail in one of the picture and it doesn't even matter because HOLY CRAP LOOK AT THE ONE WITH THE PATCH OVER HIS EYE, IT'S LIKE HE WAS MADE OUT OF ATOMS GOD SPECIFICALLY CREATED TO CONSTITUTE ADORABLENESS.

We didn't get to name the litter, as will be made obvious the instant you learn what this one was called:  Gigi.

Gigi was the runt and perpetually worried, so, smelling the Zoloft on my  hands,  she began to follow me immediately.

Meals were a procedure which rivaled only The Feeding of the Multitudes in terms of complexity, noise, and logistical nightmares.



oh, and the SMELL at:  mbe@drinktothelasses.com

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Reader Comments (6)

I would so come down to Alabama and adopt on of them - they look like American Staffordshire mixes?

September 30, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterstarnarcosis

They are boxer mutts, or, as I like to call The Puppehs, boxer briefs.

September 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMB

I had a boxer bitch when I was a child. Her name was Kimba —yeah, like that anime, but that was not it.

A great race. Good with kids, quiet, and they all think they are small enough to be lap dogs.

Man, do I miss her.

September 30, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterred pill junkie

Awwww Heinz 57 puppies!!! Must. fight urge to. adopt all five because. wife. will. kill. me...

September 30, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterpointyhead

Um, excuse me, but I would like to have the eye-patch puppeh for my very own. Please? I don't think my beagles would mind. Maybe the cats would, though.

Fine. No more puppies for me.

September 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnne from Iowa

Oh.My.Word. Those are absolutely adorable. I have friends on a farm with two big boxers and they are the sweetest dogs. I will now spend the next 30 minutes telling myself I cannot possibly drive from Nashville to Mobile and adopt a puppeh. :)

October 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCBell
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