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« Why Puppehs Are Cute | Main | Fame Monsters »

Teh Puppies

I have been quite open in this space concerning my sparse history with pets. There were goldfish, and then there was Smoky the Parakeet.  Smoky arrived in our home complete with cage when I was four years old, and then he pooped all over the curtains and mysteriously disappeared and nothing more complex than the occasional music theory major darkened our doorstep ever again.  I prefer to think that Smoky is still flying around out there, bringing cheer and colorful droppings to all the good little children of the West Side.

Josh The Pilot's family owned a dog and some kittehs, all of which he speaks of fondly.  Then again, he grew up in rural Africa, where I'm fairly certain that nobody would notice an extra few piles of poop out in the open.

Poop also is what did us in, dog-wise; our next-door neighbors owned a mutt border collie named Tuffy, who enjoyed trying to herd us by running back and forth along the big chain link fence and ensuring, through poop generation, that Julie The NephewsMama and I didn't want any part of major pet ownership, no way, no how.  In this manner, Tuffy was excellent preparation for auntdom; when poop appeared, I patted her on the head and went away.

So it made a great deal of sense for a person who had never actually managed the life of another mammal to, when the opportunity presented itself, take on five.  At once.

I can haz your will to live?

(And yes, there are five in this picture.  You can just barely see the back of the fifth behind the others.  His agent advised him against speaking with the press.)

At the Lutheran church we attend, the pastor announced that a litter of nine puppies had appeared on the doorstep of the Mobile ARFanage, and asked for volunteers to puppysit while homes were arranged for them.  Their mother was undergoing uterine surgery--no crap, okay, that's, like, 36 paws in one uterus-- and before the whole of this information was even related to me, I knew, I knew, that I was going to be picking up poop before all of this was over.

you see where this is going at:  mbe@drinktothelasses.com

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Reader Comments (11)

Aaand, which one are you keeping? I vote for the one with the funky looking eye all the way at the end!

September 22, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterkelebek

Allow me to be the first to say, "D'AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!"

September 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLex

So much cute all in one place! At least until they piddle on the carpet

September 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJen the Account Taker

Oh, keep all five! You'd be two up on us - we "fostered" a litter of three kittehs and ended up keeping them.
That's right, you don't know: Brian and I bought a house, almost 4 years ago nao. Our kittehs are named Ace, Thea, Guinne ("gwin"), Boq ("bok"), Davison, Pertwee and Colleen ("can't be trusted not to pee in the bedroom"). Boq is the older half-brother of the youngest three, we "fostered" him too.

September 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDonna

AWWWW PUPPIES!!!! Y'know if you keep one, you gotta keep another so the first one doesn't get lonely. Now that you have two, what's three more? That's the rationale behind how my wife and I got our varmints - seven cats and two dogs.

September 23, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterpointyhead

[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Josh Hunter, Mary Beth Ellis. Mary Beth Ellis said: Teh Puppies: http://wp.me/pc73N-LO [...]

I second kelebek's suggestion, although pointyhead's logic seems without flaw as well.

And don't worry about the poop. Who knows? if you keep the 5 of them, you might get a nice tax break in the years to come, thanks to the public service your mutts will provide to your community's http://www.wired.com/wiredscience/2010/09/dog-poop-powers-park-lights/" rel="nofollow">power grid ;)

September 25, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterred pill junkie

So how long do you get to care for this bundle of cuteness?

September 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterEsther-the-sister-in-law

Just one night. We woke up the next morning, came to our senses, and realized we had no idea what we'd do with them if there was a showing of the house. One or two pups could easily be put in the car and driven around the block, but five was a major production just to feed them, much less move them. Thankfully there was someone else available to take them later that day. Last we heard one of them had already been adopted. :)

September 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJosh The Pilot

And thus the puppy adventure ended... :(

I admit: part of me wished you stopped "playing it safe", you know? after all, you weren't exactly the most sensible of human beings when you decided to commit into a life-long plan of mutual love —and that's why sensible people like me will die alone.

I know you're not John Lennon fans, but remember what he once wrote: Life is what happens to you when you're making plans.

Bah... pay not attention to me, my coffee cup needs refilling.

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterred pill junkie

[...] 30, 2010 by MB| 2 Comments I’ve been covering the 2010 Congressional race, and figured that Teh Puppehs should start earning their own bloody keep.  So I asked them to replicate voter attitudes.  As [...]

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