• DRINK TO THE LASSES: Notes from a Woman's College Womb
    DRINK TO THE LASSES: Notes from a Woman's College Womb
    by Mary Beth Ellis
  • Twentysomething Essays by Twentysomething Writers
    Twentysomething Essays by Twentysomething Writers
    Random House Trade Paperbacks
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Saturday
Jul032010

Happy Birthday America

"It ought to be commemorated, as the Day of Deliverance by solemn Acts of Devotion to God Almighty.  It ought to be solemnized with Pomp and Parade, with Shews, Games, Sports, Guns, Bells, Bonfires, and Illuminations from one End of this Continent to the other from this Time forward forever more."

-John Adams, July 3, 1776

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Reader Comments (9)

Happy Birthday America « Blonde Champagne...

I found your entry interesting do I've added a Trackback to it on my weblog :)...

It ought to be commemorated wearing aprons, since the forefathers were of Masonic ideology!

Oh wait: http://rlv.zcache.com/dad_is_cooking_funny_barbecue_apron-p154202643160177979q6wc_400.jpg" rel="nofollow">it already is! ;)

Feliz 4 de Julio, gringos :)

July 4, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterred pill junkie

The review of Drink has been sent to the Amazon books site where they hawk the memoir.

Sine my Yahoo mail account refuses to recognize either "drinktothelasses.com" or "morning" etc. (reason indeciferable), I'll leave it as the next post (which will be easy for you to delete if you so desire).

Best of luck!

July 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDon Reed

“DTTL’ = Drink To The Lasses, Mary Beth Ellis; Cold Tree Press (2009;
review sent into Amazon 07/07/10)

The world of American horse racing (& betting) has been forever populated with just about almost everyone born without a sense of humor.

I mean, they wouldn’t get the point of a joke – even if they had been the author of it.

So when the brand-new & refreshing Paulick Report cranked up in 2008 & started covering horse racing with verve, I was amazed to find Mary Beth’s hilarious “coverage” of the Triple Crown Races (Kentucky Derby, etc.) prominently featured, via the link to her site, “Blond Champagne.” Then, we needed a top-shelf debut memoir written by a workaholic humorist who writes wickedly & who had spent time in college with jaded ladies cleaning their ROTC rifles in dorm rooms. Done.

Personally, I needed a fresh source of restorative comedy, in the aftermath of a failed romance with Barbara’s Tuchman’s presumed can’t-miss “The Guns of August.”

Mary Beth, to the rescue, again, with “Drink To The Lasses”!

It takes perseverance & then some to keep going when your destiny is to write & the world could not care less. Even presumably logical allies can be cruel.

By chance, before reading Lasses, I had seen “Parliament of Whores” on the bookshelf & wondered if Ellis would be as funny as P.J. O’Rourke.

Then I found out that O’Rourke himself – probably drunk, in the aftermath of a paid dullard’s speech at Notre Dame, followed by a cash bar free-for-all – after she had asked him for advice on how to become a writer, had callously advised her to go to dental school.

It is indeed a small world, if the paths of talented humorists of different generations can so miraculously intersect, but O’Rourke had to go & prove that he is even smaller than that.

At any rate, this book cannot be more highly recommended. Buy dozens of them.

MB as a freshman, merely by writing a letter of appreciation, somehow ended up on it-is-it-isn’t a date (her first ever) with, of all people, a college human athletic mascot, the Notre Dame Leprechaun.

Nothing came of it; they remained friends (which ensures that someday, should that day arrive, MB’s children will grow to an adult height). And eventually, he “vanished into a Golden Dome sort of Camelot mist, for I never heard of him again.”

We now might know where he is. From the New York Post, July 2nd, 2010:

“Cops in Boulder, Colorado, were flooded with calls that a leprechaun was on the loose.

“The callers said a man dressed in leprechaun garb was spotted in a parking lot running between cars & making obscene gestures.

“Cops found no one matching that description.”

* * *

Say, what happens if this writing thing, God forbid, doesn’t work out?

She’ll never relax; her permanent drive to achieve will continue.

Remembering that stellar career advice from a respected elder, she’ll then enroll in dental school, obtain her degree, & open a practice.

And the unsuspecting P.J. O’Rourke - now retired & daylighting on autumn Saturdays afternoons as the AARP Notre Dame Leprechaun - will be escorted to her chair.

“Open Wide!”

July 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDon Reed

How exceedingly kind of you. My goodness. This is far longer and more expressive than most of my students' essays. I truly, truly needed to read this today--thanks much. I greatly appreciate it.

July 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMB

Related to your twitter quote from O'Rourke :YAHOO! SOMEONE finally admits this!!

July 7, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterstarnarcosis

You’re quite welcome.

Anyone having read inspired & competently written comedy (“I’m not Randal”!) & not saying the same would be an inexplicable human being.

Do note that the 3rd (mini-) paragraph (“So when the brand-new…”) should end with “Blond Champagne” - & that “We needed someone…” should be the start of the 4th para.

Whatever electronic device charged with the duty of keeping paragraphs properly separated, in this instance, must have hit the cash bar before reporting to work yesterday!

Be well, DPR

July 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDon Reed

MB- I love the quote from your FF boyfriend. I wish the whole world treated all Founding Fathers with such respect.

Have you seen the Kraft Macaroni and Cheese commericial and how they totally trashed my FF boyfriend???? I am completely boycotting all Kraft products in protest.
KB

July 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKelle Belle

Wow, Don, thank you for the splendid review.

July 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJoshThePilot
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