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Monday
Jul192010

In Which I Do Not Grow Weary of Other People's Babies, For the Most Part

Here's the thing about marrying an identical twin:  When one of them has a child and the other doesn't, it allows for a 50% preview of what one's own baby might look like:

This is me, Josh The Pilot, and Jeremiah The Brother-In-Law's baby, Elijah.  The longer I look at this, the more sickening the realization becomes that if I cheated on Josh with Jeremiah, and if Kayla The Nearly Sister-In-Law cheated on Jeremiah with Josh, Maury Povich would have nothing to say about it.

We are all reasonably happy because it is not 3 o'clock in the morning.

As it is here:

Behold the brass tacks of aunting.  Daddy had to leave at 5 AM for work.  Mommy looked like she never wanted to see anyone ever again, ever.  Baby was extremely angry about all of this.  Shortly after this picture was taken, Elijah closed his eyes, but this was merely a diversion tactic.

I gently laid him down on a blanket, which made him mad, which prompted the hiccups,  which made him furious.  Uncle Josh's solution was to hover nearby, saying, "Elijah!  It's okay!  I'm right here!"  Which didn't seem to make much of a difference, because when an infant is furious and exhausted, what he wants is the presence of an air traffic controller who is but a Xerox of Daddy.

he IS the father! at:  mbe@drinktothelasses.com

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Reader Comments (5)

A wonderful photograph (the first) of the suspected trio who knocked off the 1st National Bank in Tree Stump, MN, back on June 21st!

The smallest member of the gang, it was reported, was able to get to the level of the teller’s window atop numerous phone books…

Merry Coincidence: The Povich crack (yours; all are welcome & none – regardless of language - can descend to the permanent abyss of the man’s abominable career) & the following (in today’s NY Post, July 21st, 2010):

“We asked in May: ‘Which producer…has been complaining of [Keith Olbermann’s] notoriously nasty behavior?’ The answer came Monday when…[the news was announced] that Izzy Povich [had switched jobs].

“Izzy, the daughter-in-law of Maury…had no comment.”

This is rich. Apparently, she has (at least) two standards of acceptable decorum.

The first – absorbed as she was growing up, in the Povich household - pertains to what is broadcast on the air (“Anything – And I Mean Anything - Goes”) & –

The 2nd – “If I’m personally involved, treat us with dignity & respect.”

Off to Maine. Keep an eye on that kid; he’s already been designated by MIT as a latent Genius.

July 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDon Reed

I am glad to be Elijah's father! :)

Thanks for helping us out while you were here. I know Elijah looks forward to many more visits from Aunt Beth and Uncle Josh. :)

The longer I look at this, the more sickening the realization becomes that if I cheated on Josh with Jeremiah, and if Kayla The Nearly Sister-In-Law cheated on Jeremiah with Josh, Maury Povich would have nothing to say about it.

Now THAT is an idea for a new TV reality show!

We just have to think of a fitting title, The Readers :)

July 21, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterred pill junkie

Well, if you cheated with Jeremiah & Josh cheated with Kayla and had kids, you could have an all-new, modern version of "All in the Family"!

July 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSara

Ah, the 5 am crying fits...I remember those fondly. It gets better until the teething starts and you're up at midnight with an 11 month old who is in tremendous amounts of pain.

Here’s the thing about marrying an identical twin: When one of them has a child and the other doesn’t, it allows for a 50% preview of what one’s own baby might look like

I'm the daughter of an identical twin; my uncle never had children. Never even considered we could be a glimpse into what his kids would look like...

July 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmy
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