• DRINK TO THE LASSES: Notes from a Woman's College Womb
    DRINK TO THE LASSES: Notes from a Woman's College Womb
    by Mary Beth Ellis
  • Twentysomething Essays by Twentysomething Writers
    Twentysomething Essays by Twentysomething Writers
    Random House Trade Paperbacks
This area does not yet contain any content.
« Completely Awesome Thing That Happened Today #8734 | Main | Introductions »
Monday
Sep072009

Sentences Heard Only in Homes With Small Children

"Please do not send the Etch-A-Sketch down the slide."

"Did you just PEE?... Well then, I'd like to know what that puddle on the floor is."

"Point the laser cannon away from your brother."

"Aunt Beth, look what you're supposed to do with the water in the back of church.  You go like this:  Forehead, shirt, this shoulder, that shoulder."

"The bubble didn't taste very good, did it?  That's why I told you not to eat it."

"...ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen... nine..."

"Keep your pants on until you get inside the bathroom."

puppy dog tails at:  mbe@drinktothelasses.com

EmailEmail Article to Friend

Reader Comments (5)

It is spectacles testicles wallet watch, obviously you are not male and lacking in your Catholic school education. :)

September 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJohn B

My faves also include:
Stop licking the car
Don't stab the dog
Get your shoe out of your mouth
And the ever popular Mama check your pants - you made stinky

September 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCarrie

How about comments from PARENTS, like, "He got poop on WHAT?!"

September 8, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterj.s.

Please do not hang up all your sisters' underwear in the maple tree and then invite all your friends to see your underwear tree.
Please do not climb out of your bedroom window, over the roof, and down the tree by the garage to go to Wendy's for a burger at 11 pm.

September 8, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterstarnarcosis

Love the list.

In my home, one hears "With underwear comes responsibility." (yes, I do have a toddler).

September 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGinny
Comments for this entry have been disabled. Additional comments may not be added to this entry at this time.