• DRINK TO THE LASSES: Notes from a Woman's College Womb
    DRINK TO THE LASSES: Notes from a Woman's College Womb
    by Mary Beth Ellis
  • Twentysomething Essays by Twentysomething Writers
    Twentysomething Essays by Twentysomething Writers
    Random House Trade Paperbacks
This area does not yet contain any content.
« Upsetting | Main | MY GODCHILD »


I was walking through Le Mart de Wal last week, and was actually disturbed by something other than what normally disturbs me in a Le Mart de Wal.  On the end of the single aisle of plastic beads and BeDazzlers that passes for the Crafts Department, I saw a bag of brown pipe cleaners, labelled as... "Fuzzy Sticks."

That's not a crafting supply.  That's the title of a particularly alarming furry fanfic.  I'm assuming the name change has come about because less people are smoking, and Kids These Days What With Their Hannah Dakota and Their Light-Up Sneakers have barely a concept of pipedom.  Well, whooooo, I suppose.  I cannot abide cigarettes, but am rather partial to pipes, probably because my father smoked one when I was a little blonde, just starting out in the world of not understanding anything.  A bit of brown secondhand stickiness was a proper fee for the Captain Smith tins which housed our collection of My Little Pony combs.  The modern equivalent, I suppose, is handing  my Hypnotiq empties over to Will The Smaller Child Nephew as a secondhand sippy cup.

My primary fear is that pipe cleaners will vanish from the Earth entirely-- and then what will we do for candy cane reindeer antlers?  I'M ASKING YOU.

next, they come for the clothespins at:  mbe@drinktothelasses.com

EmailEmail Article to Friend

Reader Comments (7)

[...] Beth has an ugly encounter with some fuzzy sticks Share and [...]

Oh, I think kids understand pipes . . . hashpipes and crack pipes. Which is probably why the makers of "Fuzzy Sticks" want nothing to do with that iconography.

(Note: I'm not saying that kids know about hashpipes and crack pipes because they're smoking it, but I've heard plenty of ten year olds say stuff like "Put down the crack pipe." That's a closer reference for them than Sherlock Holmes and Popeye.)

September 21, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermike the sailor man

"That’s a closer reference for them than Sherlock Holmes and Popeye.)"

Well, blow me down!! (which of course, has an entirely different connotation in these modern times).

PS: Popeye just celebrated his 80th birthday: http://www.cartoonbrew.com/cartoon-culture/blow-me-down-2.html" rel="nofollow">here's a recent picture of him taken at the retirement home he's staying ;)

September 22, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterred pill junkie

PPS: I went to the movies to see "Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs" and saw a booth with clips from the upcoming http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S4K3aM5H5KM" rel="nofollow">Sherlock Holmes movie, with Robert Downey Jr. I'm intrigued if the movie will accurately portray Holmes as the cocaine addict Conan Doyle wrote he was.

September 22, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterred pill junkie

well RPJ, they did get Robert Downey Jr to play Holmes so they at least started in the right direction.

September 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKelle Belle

Not only are the candy cane antlers in danger, but also the cool ornaments we made by stringing beads on the pipe cleaners and bending them into shapes.

In reference to previous comments, WOW. Should I be worried that *I* don't know what pipes used to smoke illegal substances look like?

September 24, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterj.s.

I was at the craft store the other day, and they were called "fuzzy craft sticks." Which doesn't make much sense to me since they call popsicle sticks "craft sticks," and they're not even close.

September 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMrs.Red
Comments for this entry have been disabled. Additional comments may not be added to this entry at this time.