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« The Girls | Main | Obsession Convention »
Tuesday
Aug252009

Slashing

Responses to yesterday's call for Obsession Admittance are tumbling in, and I'm quite taken aback by the number of closet Top Gear heads on these here intertubes.  I'm still scouting out reactions, so if you missed the original call, email me or reply to the post, and you, too, shall unburden your soul as I continue to pretend to know what "torque" is.

What's been happening is that The Readers who are filling out the email interview are forwarding it to Gearheads they know who might not, for whatever reason, have heard of Blonde Champagne.  Since word-of-mouth is how Top Gear became popular to begin with in America, it's been a fascinating progression of Six Degrees From a Ford Mondeo Screeching in a Circle.  It's almost enough to make me not hate other people.

Favorite response so far, from Mark The Reader, who typed under the "Anything else you'd like to add?" field:  "Some say that she's a great blogger... Others say that she's a bestselling author.  All I know is she's Mary Beth."  See, this is how you get yourself some print time:  Kindly assuming that one's hostess has sold books to people other than those directly responsible for her birth.

Most unfavorite:  Being directed to the fact that there are, on this planet, perhaps sitting right next to you on the bus or handling your croissants on the way to your table, PEOPLE WHO WRITE TOP GEAR FANFICTION.

Fanfiction is understandable when it stomps its way, uncopyrighted, into an already fictional world.  It provides an arena for fans (really, really, big fans, okay) to pop the cork on their bubbling obsession and for the hobbyist or developing writer to flex the keyboard a bit.   But when you've got real people starring in your short story, and the synopsis of that short story is "Jeremy Clarkson and James May explore what their relationship could have been, and Richard Hammond becomes dangerously jealous," you have got a problem.

And when you insist upon thrusting Harry Freaking Potter into every realm of human history from the Crucifixion to an automotive television show which runs on the twin cylinders of destruction and hating vegetarians, you have got a bigger problem.  This from a person whose bathroom sink is currently festooned with every serotonin tweaker this side of your local Canadian online pharmacy.  I beg of these people, as a writer and as a teacher of writing, to stop using their imaginations.

Actually, I might have to change my favorite responses around.  My life is quite stable and normal, I've just realized.

libel much? at:  mbe@drinktothelasses.com

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Reader Comments (5)

[...] searching for interview subjects, Mary Beth makes a horrifying Top Gear discovery Share and [...]

the idea of Top Gear SLASH fan fiction made me laugh for a good two minutes!

August 26, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterstarnarcosis

YAY for responses and word of mouth/email!!!

I will only admit to reading fanfiction once upon a time - Spuffy fanfic to be exact. [blush] Thereagain, it was fiction about fiction, so no harm done!!! :D

August 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKris

SLASH fan fiction for Top Gear??

*shakes head and shudders*

August 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCJ from St. Louis

Top Gear fanfiction??

...Actually, I don't think I mind at all. See, it's better to have those guys occupied at the keyboard ;-)

August 27, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterred pill junkie

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