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Saturday
Jul182009

Craptacular Reporting Pet Peeve of the Month

Dear Bloggers and Reporters Making Cutsey-Pie "Things To Thank the Moon Landing For" Lists:

I'm thrilled that you're typing about the space program.  I'd also like to preliminarily point out that I have a well-established track record of being very good at being very wrong.

That being said:

TANG WAS NOT DEVELOPED FOR THE SPACE PROGRAM.  STOP SAYING THAT IT WAS.  John Glenn drank it. But not Neil Armstrong. It wasn't even on the menu for Apollo 11.

(What was on the menu?  I believe an enormous helping of SUCK IT, COMMIES.)

If you really want to know which commercially available products we can thank Apollo for, try a little bit of this list.  Hideously cumbersome athletic shoes, for one.

and don't even get me STARTED about Velcro at:  mbe@drinktothelasses.com

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Reader Comments (10)

[...] Mary Beth has a pet peeve involving Tang. Share and Enjoy: [...]

I can't WAIT to share this with my fellow teachers, who are convinced that TANG is some sort of chemical concoction that was only ever intended for the space program. I remember drinking it in large quantities when I was little (back in the early 70's).

And are you serious? Velcro didn't come from NASA???? Please tell me how I can help debunk that myth.

July 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWiserlemming

C'est vrai. http://www.swissinfo.ch/eng/search/detail/How%20a%20Swiss%20invention%20hooked%20the%20world.html?siteSect=881&sid=7402384&cKey=1167927120000" rel="nofollow">Velcro was invented by a Swiss engineer before NASA even existed. http://www.velcro.com/index.php?page=who-is-velcro-r" rel="nofollow">Here's the scoop from the company's own site.) NASA used the crap out of it in Gemini and Apollo. Unfortunately, it was highly flammable, and was present in great heaps on the Apollo 1 command module. (Velcro didn't START the fire, http://history.nasa.gov/Apollo204/webb.html" rel="nofollow">but tests found that it was basically combustible under those conditions. There was a lot of discussion of this in From the Earth to the Moon, complete with visual aide.) Due to the fire, a non-flam version has been used from that day to this.

Which grade do you teach? Depending on which, there are some fun spinoff learning game/activities I can point you to.

July 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMB

I had just read http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090719/ap_on_sc/us_space_shuttle" rel="nofollow">this article and was fuming about the words "spaceman" and "spacefarers" appearing in a supposedly serious news piece about today's spacewalk....oops, I mean EVA. Then I read your post. I couldn't agree more. Craptacular reporting indeed!

"SPACEman," seriously? Like he got out of a flying saucer with a ray gun?

Well, ladies, who's gonna start the lawsuit?

UPDATE
Yep, and the dateline is... http://www.dishpronto.com/sidedish/2009/06/2_5.asp" rel="nofollow">Cape Canaveral. Which leads me to assume the reporter is sitting in Rusty's Seafood & Oyster Bar watching the EVA on NASA TV.

July 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMB

I teach third grade gifted kids. They're always looking for a challenge----and to learn new things. If you remember, this is the class where I had some pretty serious writers last year. This year, we'll be continuing their work in an after-school writing club.
One of my third graders last year wrote a story entitled "The Exorcism of Pinky". (Pinky is a teacup chihuahua that likes to nibble on fingers, toes, etc). Pretty good reading! Maybe this year, the author could send Pinky into space! She's always looking into ways to get that dog away from her!!!!!

Oh, and just as a bit of added detail, the story regarding the exorcism involved my third grade student, two of her sisters, one of her cousins, a chihuahua-sized chair, duct tape, a Bible, a Rosary, a crucifix, 35 candles, and a sudden, mysterious, gust of wind.....all this from a nine-year-old. And she was in catechism (sp?) classes at the time......

July 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWiserlemming

I forgot to add, the story also included the chihuahua in question, and holy water. I should really send you a copy of the story. It might help restore your faith in young people's ability to write (after all those essays you grade).....

July 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWiserlemming

For your information, Velcro was developed from the remains of the flying saucer that crashed in Roswell in July 1947. After more than 60 years, everybody should know this!

Abduction and anal probes? that's just the copyright-infringement legal actions the alien bastards apply on us.

July 20, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterred pill junkie

Hey, great post, very well written.

July 20, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdegree

Now I finally know on whom to the blame the craptacular design of Denver International Airport: NASA! Excellent.

July 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLex
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