• DRINK TO THE LASSES: Notes from a Woman's College Womb
    DRINK TO THE LASSES: Notes from a Woman's College Womb
    by Mary Beth Ellis
  • Twentysomething Essays by Twentysomething Writers
    Twentysomething Essays by Twentysomething Writers
    Random House Trade Paperbacks
This area does not yet contain any content.
« Craptacular Reporting Pet Peeve of the Month | Main | On the Waterfront »

Have a Drink, Have a Float

As we all know due to my recent extremely urgent tweet, I am nursing a sunburn.  This is what happens when you're the palest person alive and armed with SPF 75:  The sun prevails.

The tops of my legs are badly fried, as are my right arm, the tops of my feet, and the right side of my right boob.  I couldn't figure out the last one, until I remembered what I was wearing, which was a swimsuit.

This was covered by copious amounts of the SPF 75 and a life vest and a healthy layer of shame, as my lithium-crammed body is apparently formed from mashed potatoes.  Burned anyway.

Then again, I felt far more intelligent when we were rammed through the company's safety briefing, which assured us that we were NOT to drink ANY type of alcohol EVER, and then paraded us past a set of commercial refrigerators offering beer for sale, right next to the floating coolers.

low water at:  mbe@drinktothelasses.com

EmailEmail Article to Friend

Reader Comments (10)

[...] Enjoy the following sunburn. Share and Enjoy: [...]

I am delighted with your blog!

July 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAciclovir

See, that's why I always resort to at least a tank top, if not a tee-shirt when I'm whitewater rafting or tubing. It helps keep the sunburn off the sensitive areas. It also keeps the life vest and any accompanying life vest straps from being all scratchy and annoying.

Can't help you with the legs and feet, though. Same thing happens to me too.

July 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWiserlemming

Didja see that, The Readers? Wiserlemming just challenged me to a wet tee shirt contest. Man, just when you think you know a person.

July 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMB

I feel your pain, MB. As one who is also nearly devoid of pigment, I too get the random burn spots. Even when you apply SPF Infinity to every crevice you can attack, there will be a patch or stripe of virgin skin left. And it will flame. My paleness would have have been all the rage in a Regency romance novel. Alas, not today.

July 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEm the Reader

My paleness would have have been all the rage in a Regency romance novel.

That's totally how I comfort myself, too! "Well, Mr. Darcy would have thought I was hot." In the meantime, Josh The Pilot got kinda pink on one shoulder, and otherwise EVEN MORE TAN. Sigh.

July 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMB

Oops, I forgot to include.....always wear a colored t-shirt. And always, always, always make sure you put your swimsuit on first. You can never be too careful! Especially when you get tossed out of the raft (or off the tube).....

July 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWiserlemming

I swear I burn more the higher the SPF I try, no matter what those fancy skin doctors say. I'm Italian, French and Irish. I didn't get the olive skin, to say the least. Although, soon and very soon my freckles will grow together and I will be really tan.

July 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnne from Iowa

It may be too late for this go-round, but I would encourage you to try something called Too Much Sun! from a company named MBi Nutraceuticals. Here's what happened to me.

I have something called Vitiligo. This means that you lose all pigment in your skin. My wife and I went to Florida this spring, and I got a pretty good burn on the tops of my feet and the backs of my hands. My wife got burned on her arms.

We both used Too Much Sun! and, lickety split, no pain. Even better (well, a nice bonus at least), no peelings.

July 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJames W. Johnston

I used to get half-sunburns from riding on one side of the car. Also during the one or two ND home games a year where the sun was out.

MB, to alter the caring words you once spake unto me after a personal affliction I wrote about: Sorry about your boobs, dude.

Comments for this entry have been disabled. Additional comments may not be added to this entry at this time.