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Josh The Pilot and I saw Star Trek: The College Years this evening.  It is a prequel of sorts, which means the world at last gets to see Captain Kirk's mother give birth to a Priceline spokesman.

Because I am somewhat of a Star Wars aficionado, seeing the film apparently makes me some sort of baby seal beater.  I don't understand the animosity between Star Wars and Star Trek fans:  Can't we just all get along, not having sex together?

Since he is well acquainted with both, Josh is not only a sci-fi bigamist, but highly useful to me in the movie's aftermath.  It is not well, however, to discover that one's life partner can describe with alarming detail the Vulcan mating ritual.  And his ability to answer such questions as "Who was that guy?  And the other guy with the other two guys and the thing with the eight-foot face?", did very little to salve the enormous disappointment of not seeing The Shat at any point in the film. Instead, there was a healthy amount of Young, HOT! Kirk and Young, HOT! Spock, and they all totally get wasted and streak the Starfleet Academy campus until the dean puts them on Double Secret Probation, which means they'll totally miss the Greek Olympics, bro.

Denied The Shat, I got up in a huff to hit the ladies' room and contemplate the sickening heaping helping of weasel grammar which ends the movie:  "To boldly go where no one has gone before."  MAN, people.  The proper English construct is MAN.   Given we're talking interspecies exploration, however, I'll give it the smallest of passes; but if one more person gets up to gender-neutral Jesus during Mass ("I will make you fishers of people!"), I will go Klingon on yo' hiney.

pretty sure a Klingon is a bad guy at:  mbe@drinktothelasses.com

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Reader Comments (10)

[...] Beth boldly goes Trekking where clearly few English majors have gone before. Share and [...]

I'm just glad your grammatical complaint wasn't the split infinitive. I consider myself a mid-level grammar snob, but that is a rule I reject for its uselessness.

Also, as a Star Wars fan I am unapologetically excited for this movie. It just looks so cool!

May 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRachel

Maybe the director of Lost is confident that in the XXIIth century there will no only be men & women, but all sots of fun in-betweens partaking in the boldly going. Hence the neutrality :-P

Sci Fi Mexican geeks have no clue when we'll get to see the new Trek. We haven't even seen Wolverine's new claws yet :-(

PS: Happy Mothers' Day to anyone who fills the description —in this day and age, it's already a http://www.edgeboston.com/index.php?ch=news&sc=glbt&sc2=news&sc3=&id=72137" rel="nofollow">neutral term!

PPS: Blonde Champagne's loking HAUTE! I'd increase the size of the text a bit though. These old peepers of mine ain't getting any sharper :)

May 10, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterred pill junkie

RPJ, I'd love to increase the font, but one of the many utter FAILINGS of WordPress is that I can't : (

May 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMB

I am not in any way a Trekkie -- nor am I a big Star Wars fan, though my hubby is both (!) -- but I too am horrified that "one" is now stuck in place of "man." Some things are just sacred, you know? -- even to a non-Trekkie like moi.

I AM an English teacher, so perhaps that explains my horrified reaction ...

May 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGinny

(Hesistant Pause) It's been "To boldly go where no ONE has gone before" since episode one of Star Trek: The Next Generation which aired almost 22 years ago now...
And WHAT was up with SPOCK getting all the babe action?

May 11, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterstarnarcosis

"It’s been “To boldly go where no ONE has gone before” since episode one of Star Trek: The Next Generation "

So I've heard. But that doesn't make it RIGHT!

May 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMB

Actually, it was "where no ONE has gone before" since Star Trek 6, where Spock corrects himself:

"To boldly go where no man--or no one--has gone before."

So it makes sense that Spock would continue in the same manner.

May 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChestertonianRambler

Good to hear that Spock is consistent in his wrongness.

May 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMB

Well, actually, it was Kirk doing the voice-over at the end of Star Trek 6. But it's still wrong. :)

May 17, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterwaseom
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