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It was Girl Scout Sunday at my parish, and they dotted the pews in their hideous polyester vests and Daisy smocks.  It was a refreshing sight, even if they bore patches reading RECYCLING ROCKS!  and I HAD A BIRTHDAY; achievement, it seems, just isn't the same in 2009 as it was in 1985, when, in order to earn the "Computer World" badge, I was required to "visit a business that had a computer" and "learn binary code."

I mean the patches in and of themselves were refreshing, not merely the knowledge that our participation-trophy culture has degenerated to the point at which small children now receive commendation for inhaling and exhaling on a regular basis.  It was good to see the polyester color vomit, because last month, when I succumbed to Official Boring Grown-Up Officedom and filled out co-worker's Girl Scout cookie order form, I learned that the Scouts don't do patches anymore. They do... charm bracelets.

This would make 4evah 'n' evah storage somewhat less burdensome than a clothing item manufactured of unfoldable materials, I imagine, but that wasn't my first reaction.  My first reaction was:  "My mother is going to be PISSED."  The woman has no feeling in the tips of her index fingers, the nerve endings worn away by a good decade of uniting tiny bobbin threads and synthesized polymers with a size 10 leather needle.  And now she learns... there could have been charm bracelets.

Well, maybe they're the incredibly tiny, entirely unlatchable spring-ring kind.

dangling at:  mbe@drinktothelasses.com

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Reader Comments (4)

[...] Isn’t that charming! Share and Enjoy: [...]

It's all about the bling, y'all ;-)

March 9, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterred pill junkie

I know exactly how you feel. A co-worker of mine has a daughter that is just starting out as a daisy. She needed ideas for her troop for a project - and since I'm an alumni... I suggested they do a shoe drive for the community. They are very excited now... and I am glad to know they are actually doing something that will be of value! :)

March 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCathy Bell

NOOOOOOOOO! I loved the patches! I still have my sash from Brownies with all my Try-Its stitched on there and my vest from Juniors.

I was really looking forward to Girl Scouts with my (currently eight months old) daughter, and now that you tell me they're doing charm bracelets instead of patches...well, there's another piece of my childhood shattered.

It's almost as bad as when the Girl Scouts did away with the flashes for the knee socks and the beanies and the ties.

March 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGina
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