Tuesday
Mar312009
Ways to Begin an Essay and Pretty Much Fail Immediately, If You Are My Student
Tuesday, March 31, 2009 at 1:37PM 1) "Since the beginning of time..."
2) "I'm not exactly sure why you made this assignment but I'm going to do the best I can, I guess."
3) "Imagine you are a beautiful woman, with two big breasts."
4) "This book was a novel."
5) "No matter what, you should never give up you're dreams!"
yes you should at: mbe@drinktothelasses.com
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Reader Comments (10)
If I were you, I would ask the FBI to start a file on the student who gave #3... if they haven't done so already :)
...as opposed to three big breasts?
naw, i'm sure he's destined for great things in the world of television comedy.
#5 - immeeeeeeeediate fail for for "they're". ARGH!
Duh, reading is helpful, I meant "you're". You knew that though...
Speak for yourself. I'm very intrigued by Essay #3.
I have one of those lists. I pull it out and read it when the students have given me a particularly rough day. It makes me feel better about failing.them.all.
This is the frist thing that made me smile all day. I am always thankful when you publish these lists. It makes me feel so much better about deciding after 1 semster to NEVER TEACH AGAIN.
Do you need a new read sharpie to write F on all those papers????
[...] future students: Mary Beth advises you how to fail pretty much immediately Share and [...]
You know... I always thought you were kidding when you lamented about the sad excuses for papers you had to grade. Then, I went back to college (after MANY years away) and I am taking an online course and I have to say... I now completely understand EVERYTHING you have said in the past. It is a sad and amazing experience to read general postings on our homework message boards.
I have a much clearer understanding now.