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Monday
Mar232009

Let's Go to the Zoo, Zoo, Zoo!

Here's what you want to hear about your nephews:

"How was the zoo today?" I asked Country The Brother-In-Law.

"Oh, well, you know.  Will assaulted an alligator."

I used to live in Florida.  I knew alligators.  Alligators and I were not friends.  Will The Smaller Child Nephew had assaulted no alligator.  He tried to, apparently; at his Toddlers Meet Wild Rabid Effin' Beast class, or whatever the program is called, the aide removed a baby alligator from his enclosure, Will removed himself from his mother's grasp, and went for the tail.  He was thwarted, I am told.

'Tis well.  I've got enough crap within crap within other crap without having to come to you people for funds to send my nephew to the One Leg and a Few Chomp Marks Day Camp For Children.

el lagarto at:  mbe@drinktothelasses.com

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Reader Comments (6)

[...] Monday, March 23rd, 2009 | Uncategorized | morningworksmedia Will The Small Child Nephew pronounces himself a reptile whisperer.  Or an average  two-year-old within grabbing distance of an alligator.  Your choice. Share [...]

Those critters get to live 100+ years old,you know. Having a grudge with such a long-lived animal doesn't sound too wise. You might as well pick a fight with the Sicilian Mafia ;-)

March 23, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterred pill junkie

Tell Country to have him wear khakis and practice saying "Crikey!"

March 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterINCITEmarsh

You're assuming Will would have LOST.

March 24, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterstarnarcosis

Yesterday his mother caught him flinging mud-covered pebbles into the toilet, then retrieving them and repeating the process. Like a good youngest (for the moment, anyway), yes, Will would lost.

March 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMB

[...] there’s a simple resolution to such interspecies angst:  You send in Will.  The Smaller Child Nephew will pull a few tails, everybody will know who’s boss, and there will be cookies for [...]

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