• DRINK TO THE LASSES: Notes from a Woman's College Womb
    DRINK TO THE LASSES: Notes from a Woman's College Womb
    by Mary Beth Ellis
  • Twentysomething Essays by Twentysomething Writers
    Twentysomething Essays by Twentysomething Writers
    Random House Trade Paperbacks
This area does not yet contain any content.
« Presidents Day Pride | Main | Federal Fun! »

Love on a Stick

The Illinois State Society Inaugural Ball presented several different themes throughout the hotel where it was staged. We workers never got to see them, as we were busy constructing fences out of cardboard and preparing for the Colts opening home game.

cow1One of them was “Illinois State Fair,” or: “Our State Produces Flat, Cardboard, and Yet Somehow Award-Winning Sheep!”

And... it was one of the most popular areas of the party.


I’m thinking the chocolate-covered cheesecake on a stick had something to do with it. Is there nothing the United States of America can’t suspend from a stick? That’s what makes this nation great.


Formal wear + cotton candy + open bar = a whole bunch of people standing in line at the liquor stations, and this was where the enormous amounts of people in attendance became a pro-public safety issue. You had to wait at least forty five minutes from shot to shot—the staff ran out of glassware about midnight, at which point we were forced to submit ourselves to the cycle of the kitchen’s dishwasher or start sucking the carpet fibers of the areas behind the bars. Of course, that was the signal for the party to end, because standing around wearing zirconium while consuming pure sugar from a rolled piece of paper can only get you so celebratory.

fair at: mbe@drinktothelasses.com

tip the bartender

EmailEmail Article to Friend

Reader Comments (4)

Hmmm... I'm wondering if you could make cotton candy with alcohol flavor. There would be rum candy, bourbon candy, margarita candy... have I just given up the idea for a multi-million dollar business?

February 13, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterred pill junkie

[...] Mary Beth Finds Love on a Stick [...]

February 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterIn Honor of Valentine’s

yo, great name for site)))

March 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDomaswata

cool sitename

March 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGekClieniSall
Comments for this entry have been disabled. Additional comments may not be added to this entry at this time.