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Tuesday
Feb102009

Drinking Up

I’ll tell you something else about the train. When it’s not a one-way sewage delivery system, it is a bar.

The second time I rode out of DC on the LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE Express, I noticed that the man seated in front of me was fully in possession of a tall boy, and, like, not even trying to hide it. You’re not even allowed to be in possession of your own body on the Metro, so I was first shocked, then amazed, then jealous, and then settled back into my default mode of tired and pissed. Lookit this, we got ourselves a happy hour on the Choo-Choo Bullet Train to Full-Blown Alcoholism!

But then on Monday I saw another man across the aisle deeply into a bottle of Bud, and then this evening a couple had already cracked open some abomination of a wine cooler before they were even seated and fully locked in the upright position.

Oh.

I’m allowed to drink on the train. I’m allowed. To drink. On the train. Which would explain the presence of a liquor store in the station, an amenity I found hilariously strange (it’s fully operable at seven in the morning) and initially noticed as That Place Across from the Auntie Anne’s with the Lotto Tickets—but then I began putting the GS 12’s and their shiny cans and the liquor store together and realized that capitalism is at least somewhere still in lovely full bloom in the nation’s capitol.

Of course, I won’t be drinking on the train, because I have a good twenty minute drive out from the station, and we all know that I drive with the approximate ability of a Michael Phelps’ Bloodstream Special even when stone sober. Pity; it seems the only way to begin the process of bringing oneself to begin the whole thing over again tomorrow anyway.

Then again, I walk from the station to work…

sipping at:  mbe@drinktothelasses.com

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Reader Comments (3)

[...] Guess who’s allowed to drink on the train! Share and Enjoy: [...]

It's always nice to know it's an option.

February 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEm the Reader

God bless the man who invented the steam engine... and the one who invented the minifridge... and the genius who dared to combine the two together :-)

February 11, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterred pill junkie
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