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Sunday
Jan112009

Big Fun

I am working at one of the Inaugural Balls next week, because clearly the Secret Service is totally falling down on the job.  Yesterday we attended an informational meeting, at which the following facts were relayed to us:

-The District of Columbia, in its infinite wisdom, is shutting down the Metro at midnight even though the parties won't even begin to wind down until 2 AM at the earliest, and the bars in the area are serving until at least four.  (Sometimes, it's nice to live here.)

-Any cars left in Metro parking lots past 12:01 the day of the Inauguration will be ticketed, towed, and mocked.

-But Wait, There's More:  Traffic into the District is also blocked off until four o'clock in the morning on Tuesday.

-Therefore, everyone attending or working the balls (snicker) should make alternative arrangements to, you know, not have to sleep propped up against FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE, ROAD CLOSED signs.

After these announcements were made, questions were invited, and at this point the whole entire process of peacefully passing power within the Republic came crashing down.  For people had the following questions:

-"What time does the Metro close down on Tuesday?'

-"Can we still park our cars at the Metro lots?"

-"What about driving in, can we still drive in?"

-"So why can't we take the Metro, if we can't drive in?  The trains will still be running, right?"

-"Now if the trains aren't running, what about parking at Metro lots?"

-"Is Metro shutting down early the day of the Inauguration?"

-"What's the best route for driving in?  Is it better if I just take the Metro?"

-"I heard the Metro might be shutting down early-- what's up with that?"

-"OK, I have both my hands here, and also a map.  Can you please tell my why I can't find my a#@^?"

explaining a lot at:  mbe@drinktothelasses.com

tip the bartender

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Reader Comments (7)

So this is a plot by the hotel industry to make sure that not only everyone ATTENDING the parties will have to stay overnight but also all the workers? WIsh I'd bought stock in that !

January 13, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterstarnarcosis

I just wanna know how long after PEBO takes office before I can expect my first guvmint check?

January 13, 2009 | Unregistered Commenteralabama_guy

You should move the date to the 19th, and celebrate a long weekend.

January 13, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterred pill junkie

Which ball, MB? Not our favorite art school one, by any chance? :D You have the best life, ever.

January 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCarah the BFFE

So, the metro's closing early? Can I park in the metro lot then? Snicker.

Did you want to stand up and shout "Weren't you listening?" 'Cause that's what I want to do when people ask questions that have already been answered.

January 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnne from Iowa

They're not going to tow me if I park at the Metro lot, are they???

January 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKris

Sounds like what happens in my classroom on a daily basis.

January 14, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterheatherw
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