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« Suggestions for 2012 | Main | Dear Republican National Convention: »

Convention Fashion UPDATE

Today's post is brought to you by Becky The Reader, who is great in both word and deed.  Not only did she recently tip the bartender, she also sent me a wedding gift in the form of a coffee maker.  Becky keeps this household not only properly caffeinated, but well and truly in filters, and to her I say:  Rock on with your rocking self.

To the Big News of the day:

"Why," said Josh The Pilot, "do they wear those hats?"

Well, when else are they gonna wear them?  If you've got a red glitter ten gallon hat in the closet, it's not like you can bust it out for Red Glitter Ten Gallon Hat Day at the office.  My favorite so far is the furry three-foot Uncle Sam hat:  Here's a person who wasn't just satisfied with the Uncle Sam hat or fuzz-intensive polyester strands of electric blue atop his head; no, he's going to combine them.  No dichotomies for Sir Furry Uncle Sam Hat!

Then there's Lincoln Guy, who sat himself right down in the front row with his stovepipe hat and his white shirt with dark jacket.  In the words of Country The Brother In Law:  "...No!"  Dude even had the sideburny beard going on.

I think that's what strikes me the most:  Lincoln guy had to build up to this.  That shiznit was planned.  It's not like he tumbled out of the bar all, "WHOOOOOO, I am breaking out the stovepipe hat tonight!"  A sideburny beard requires forethought and a deliberate shaving pattern over many moons, and to him I say:  It's America, baby, and ain't nobody gonna bother you.  Go nominate, go home, and go shave, there to dream stovepipe dreams for the next four years.  May God and the red glitter go with you.

party hat at:  mbe@drinktothelasses.com

tip the bartender

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Reader Comments (4)

That elephant hat looks like te headdress of a pharaoh... a poor pharaoh though :-/

September 4, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterred pill junkie

Lest you think the RNC dude is an anomaly, you should check this event out; I discovered this site a few years ago when a Lincoln impersonator attended a theatre conference with me. That is one truckload of Abes, all of whom presumably sport the beards full time.

September 4, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTom

If somebody doesn't write a thriller novel entitled "One Truckload of Abes" IMMEDIATELY, I am going to be very disappointed.

September 4, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMB

I remember reading the novel Timeshift by Michael Chrichton ('twas ok, although not as good as some of his previous work) where they go an invent a Time machine, and obviously if a company came up with something like that, they would try to squeeze every nickel and dime out of it. Problem was, people were shocked by the contrast between their expectations and the actual historical facts.

In the novel, there was the problem of recording the Gettysburg speech. Not only did Abe looked like a walking corpse, but his voice was squeaky. They ended up photoshopping the scene and dubbing it with the voice of an actor. I thought that was hilarious.

September 4, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterred pill junkie
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