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Monday
Sep152008

Did Not Compute

As previously mentioned, my computer, aged three, went away.  It went away, and it ain't gonna come back no mo'.  So  I wrapped it in a blanket and carried it to the technological ER, communicating to the tech the pinpoint diagnosis that, quote, "It's broken."

When I opened the lid, he looked at me as though I'd just heaved onto the counter a Commodore 64, complete with eight-inch monitor, then asked where the floppy disks were on display, because BASIC was acting up.

"First of all," he said, "I don't think HP even makes this monitor screen anymore."  Because there was a backorder on vacuum tubes, apparently.

To even find someone qualified to translate such ancient technology, the computer would have to be sent back to its Land of Origin, possibly Mesopotamia, to be studied by archaeologists and classified for the fossil record.  This would cost four hundred dollars.  To start.

I gathered up my crystal set and my computer's dignity and headed for the new laptop section.  There is no 0% financing on progress.

18 months at:  mbe@drinktothelasses.com

tip the bartender

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Reader Comments (3)

Ugh. My condolences. While my geeky self loves a new computer, I detest the bill that comes along with it. Especially since mine always seems to be obsolete by the time I get it out of the plastic.

This should make you feel better- when my husband and I moved last year, we donated a bunch of stuff to ill will. . . I mean goodwill. He had a laptop from when he was in school in the pile of things we dropped off.

They rejected it.

It was too old, even for them.

September 15, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterlespsu

Oh MB,
I completely understand. I have found a way to get my computer repaired that is infinitely cheaper. I package the whole thing up (the tower; mine's a desktop) with lots of those styrofoam pellets, drive to the nearest Fed Ex store (or UPS or whatever happens to be closest) and ship it back to my brother-in-law in Indiana. He does what he can (which usually means tearing the broken one apart and building me a new one) and ships it back. Lots of hassle, but not nearly as much money as paying someone locally to fix it. Like you said, it would cost around $400. And that's the minimum.

September 16, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterWiserlemming

I would have rolled in the floor with laughter, if this particular problem weren't too close to home :-(

The thing that bothers me the most with all this computer obsolescence, is that it shouldn't happen so quickly anymore. I mean, sure, back in the old Pentium days the software companies were bringing out new programs with such haste that you needed to keep up in order to not miss the new developments.

But now, a person could work perfectly with an old 6-year-old version of Office, and wih a PC running on XP, but ...Noooo! The manufacturers keep making the machines with such low quality products & incompatible parts, that they will literally melt down after the guarantee expires and there's no way to upgrade them anyway.

And you know who suffers the most from all of this—apart from your bank account? The Environment! This is not like discarding a plastic bottle. A computer monitor is made with a lot of toxic materials—In the years to come, more people will die from exposure of lead, mercury etc expelled by computer hardware and fluorescent tubes that burned on the WTC, that all the people that died in the plane crashes and collapse of the buildings in 2001.

September 16, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterred pill junkie
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