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« UPDATE to Connectivity UPDATE | Main | I Really Do Appreciate It »
Friday
Aug012008

Connectivity UPDATE

No Phone Or Internet, DAY 1: It seems that a rival tech company has cut the cable outside the house while laying lines of its own. This takes place, of course, just as I'm looking up the directions to a day job interview. When I pick up the phone to call Josh The Pilot for directory assistance, the line is dead. It's coming from inside the house.

DAY 2: Customer Service sends out a tech, who connects a bright orange cord from the outside line to a hole in the ground in order to provide us with cable access. The TV signal, incidentally, is the only thing working.

DAY 3: "Oh, your internet is still out? You need a different tech for that."

DAY 4: The McDonald's down the road offers free Wi-Fi, which, judging by the speed of it, is powered by Mayor McCheese running on a treadmill out by the Play Place.

DAY 5: Daily phone calls to Customer Service now begin with a running count of the number of days we've gone without service, for this is indeed a hostage crisis.

DAY 6: "Well, ma'am, the problem is, the signal? From the cable? Isn't reaching your house."

DAY 7: "The tech will be there tomorrow. Your case is prioritized, and he will be there tomorrow. Here's the phone number of the local contractor. Call them if no one shows up. Ma'am, I cannot understand you when you're screeching. Ma'am?"

DAY 8: "Why did the national call center give you this number? We're in Maryland."

DAY 9: "You still don't have service? Well, the tech was there two days ago to repair the TV line."

DAY 10: "Thank you for calling your local Comcast."

"Hi. We've gone ten days without Internet or a landline. The national call center told me to contact you about this issue. Can I please speak to someone about a pending appointment?"

"Sure, one moment."

(Line clicks over to national call center.)

DAY 10: "Hi, I'm here to repair the television signal?"

DAY 11: Accounting update: Comcast currently owes us $90.25 in cell phone overages, $400 in Panera coffee and Big Macs, and $17,800 in antidepressants.

DAY 12: "We have several accounts on our priority list. Lots of customers are waiting for service."

DAY 13: "Josh, what's that?"

"What's what?"

"Look at the phone modem, or whatever. It's blinking."

"It's always blinking."

"But it usually doesn't blink like that! Look... see?"

"It's just mocking us, honey."

DAY 14: I leave the state. There is better wireless access at... my parents' house. I repeat: I must repair to the home of my 67-year-old parents for more reliable technology.

DAY 15: My cell rings: "Guess what! The phone is back! The sig-"

Click.

no refund at: mbe@drinktothelasses.com

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Reader Comments (10)

I'm feeling your pain. Currently on Day 16 of being surrounded by plumbers and now...the Health Department! Somebody slap me please, lol

August 1, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterGreggy

Well, I did not have to deal with 15 days of that nonsense, but I did spend Wednesday sitting in my office for 6 and a half hours watching my voice over IP phone read "Searching for IP-1 - IP NOT FOUND, Searching for IP2 - IP NOT FOUND", because, if I went and worked from home, I would not be able to see this message and update my boss 50 miles away.

August 1, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterstarnarcosis

oh MB I feel your pain. I have found the best way to deal with Comcast is for me to skip my little happy pill one day. (When I skip the happy pill, I don't get sad anymore, I get this angry, I want to pick a fight with one and everyone. I feel like an angry bear is trying to crawl out of my skin.) That is when I call them. I have brought new meaning to the word bit*h when dealing with them. It really does solve the problem quickly. Then I take a double dose of happy pills and return to normal. Probably not what the doctor would recommend but hey whatever works....

August 1, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKell Belle

Does Comcast have an office in your area? I mean a physical office? You should go down there with a bag lunch and a sign and promise to sit there every day until the situation is resolved. I once did this to get a ("we promise it will be ready today!") wedding veil for the daughter of a friend, and it worked wonders. Plus if you get arrested you will get lots of publicity for your writing as well as bad publicity for those Comcast jerks.

August 1, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKindly Old Lady

Oh, the visit to the local office happened around Day 9 or so. Even less got done than on the phone, if at all possible. That takes some serious incompetence, right there.

August 1, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMB

Cox is just as bad, if it makes you feel any better. My parents (in Centreville) switched over to Verizon Fios as soon as they possibly could and they love it and haven't had stupid problems like everyone does with cable.

August 2, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLaura in Virginia

As is Time Warner Cable v. AT&T up here. I can't remember which it is - but I believe TWC cuts competitors (read: AT&T) lines when making installations.

I hate TWC, and their phone service stinks (my parents have it). As soon as AT&T's U-Verse service is available to us, we're dumping cable and getting U-Verse.

By the way - I have a total case of the Mondays, so this:

The McDonald’s down the road offers free Wi-Fi, which, judging by the speed of it, is powered by Mayor McCheese running on a treadmill out by the Play Place.

Totally made me laugh.

August 4, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAmy P.

[...] to Connectivity UPDATE Posted on Monday, August 4, 2008 by MB DAY 16: “Hi. We went over two weeks without Internet or phone, and now the coverage is intermittent. [...]

[...] Posted on Wednesday, September 17, 2008 by MB It’s been largely quiet concerning That Communications Company Which Shall Not Be Named, But Sure Will Be Linked To.  There’s been a fat orange cord running from a hole in the yard–apparently the [...]

September 16, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterGood Morning! « Blonde C

[...] Posted on Tuesday, September 16, 2008 by MB It’s been largely quiet concerning That Communications Company Which Shall Not Be Named, But Sure Will Be Linked To.  There’s been a fat orange cord running from a hole in the yard–apparently the [...]

September 16, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterGood Morning! « Blonde C
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