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Thursday
Jul032008

90 Degrees

This Monday I did something which is entirely new to my adult existence: I looked at an amusement park ride, and I said "No, thank you." I stayed right there on the ground. I could not imagine why anybody would want to subject themselves to this thing. It hung the people in the front row straight down, and then dropped them 205 feet at seventy miles an hour. I can do multiple inversions and power hills and hypercoasters, but this business of the straight down... in the words of one woman I walked past as she watched the coaster do its 90 degree thing, "Oh hell no."

I turned to Carah The BFFE for confirmation on the matter, but she didn't answer. You know why? She wasn't there. She couldn't come to Busch Gardens, because she couldn't ride even any of the non-insane rides, because she was four and a half months pregnant. Not old! New day.

Then I started noticing non-young-person reactions to other rides, like the Escape from Pompeii. I wouldn't call myself an overly sensitive person, and maybe it's the vestigial archivist in me who flinches when humanity is removed from history, but... I... really? A theme park attraction based on the deaths of 20,000 people from toxic volcanic ash? Sign me up! And then I want a ride on the Flaming Hindenburg!

you'll shoot your eye out at: mbe@drinktothelasses.com

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Reader Comments (12)

" And then I want a ride on the Flaming Hindenburg!"

LOL, You just gave away a multi-million dollar idea! :-)

I never enjoyed those rides. For me it's the notion of 'not being in control' that bothers me tremendously. I'm the kind of guy that if seating on the co-pilot seat, still tries to step the brake pedal if the driver is behaving recklessly.

Or maybe I'm just a big coward ;-)

July 4, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterred pill junkie

This same revelation came to me last year. Age: 49. Place: Disneyland CA. Ride: Matterhorn. Embarked with fond memories of screaming happily around the Bigfoot banking turn. Disembarked three looooooooooong minutes later, feeling my brain pounding against my skull in ways it never had before. Realized then that was my last roller coaster ride EVER.

Dang. Hope I can still handle the drops in the Pirates of the Caribbean...

July 4, 2008 | Unregistered Commentermy kidz mom

Fortieth Birthday. Three adults, one teen, on the Raptor at Cedar Point (hanging coaster). After we got off, the teen bounced around us saying "Again! Again!"
We headed for a big bench and some cool drinks, clutching our lower backs and moaning.
I still ride coasters, but it's not quite the same. *sigh*

July 5, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterstarnarcosis

You must have missed the Brewmaster's club! When my husband was stationed in Virginia, we went to Busch Gardens (two thumbs up for Anheuser Busch- all service members and families get in free). They have a place with a beer tasting (yes, like a wine tasting, but with FREE beer). So when we went to Sea World a year later, I saw Shamu more than slightly buzzed. It didn't cost me a penny! Talk about a moral boost for the troops!

July 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJill

I thought it was just me!!! Thank goodness for this blog and its ability to allow me to age somewhat gracefully. I was the queen of roller coasters! NOTHING was too high or too twisted. And then, darn it all, I turned 40 - got off of space mountain in Florida and almost passed out. Sheesh.

July 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCathy Bell

I pick and choose my roller coaster rides carefully now. Being of the not-tall variety, I can not (make that WILL not) ever ride the stand up roller coaster the Shockwave again. I thought that my ears would be smashed to bits before the end of the ride. Not to mention that the inner leg holdy uppy thing is not exactly the MOST comfortable thing to perch on while being hurled through time and space on an outdated roller coaster...
The only coaster I have regretted getting on was the Hypersonic XLC or XLT or something. Goes 6 million miles an hour straight up, over the top, straight down and around a corner...aaaaand you're done. The photos that they take of you are NOT pretty. Never agin. Not fun.
We generally go to Kings Dominion - but we went one too many years in a row, and now probably won't go back for another 5, when we are officially too old to do anything more than the Backwards Rebel Yell.
I've never been to Busch Gardens though... might have to give that a try! Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!

July 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKris

Had to laugh when I read this- as a VA resident, I had never before experienced King's Island in Ohio until this weekend when we went back to my husband's home town.
My head STILL hurts from the roller coasters- those my mark my final amusement park rides. I never thought I would see the day!

July 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKT

Personally, I have NEVER thought any amusement park ride that includes dramatic up-and-down, whirling-around, or gravitational defiance was a good idea. Knowing which way is up at all times, however, is a very good idea.

July 8, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterj.s.

For me, getting older is not about not wanting to ride the rollercoaster so much as it is not wanting to wait in the line. When you're 12, the line is interminable but worth it. When you're much older than 12, you realize you have better things to wait two hours for, and even then you probably wouldn't wait two hours for them, just that if you were to wait two hours for something, there would be many items above "rollercoaster riding" on that list.

Yeah Mike, but what about the 30-something guys that waited a whole week in line just to watch a Star Wars prequel? ;-)

July 8, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterred pill junkie

[...] is already happening at Busch Gardens; signs near the coasters, both of the sane and “Oh hell no” variety, gently suggested that “guests with chest measurements greater than 54 inches may not safely [...]

[...] The Pilot and Jeremiah The Brother-In-Law mark their birthday in June.  You know what we did?   We cashed in time share presentation tickets for a trip to Busch Gardens.  You know what I did today?  Loaded the dishwasher and taught my night [...]

January 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterReady, Set, Blow! « Blon
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