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When I exited the ladies' room in Germany on my way to Scotland (you can do this, at Busch Gardens), I found Josh The Pilot contemplating this fountain, which initially caught our attention because it includes full-on public metal nipples, no bra or nothin'. I'll say this for Europe: They're OK with nipples over there, and I am OK with the OKness, because they're very artsy about it. What I have a problem with is American nipples, because often they're featured on Paris Hilton, and otherwise not respectfully presented. But cast 'em in bronze and stick a seal projectile vomiting water underneath 'em, and I am perfectly fine with the nipples.

So we made our way to Scotland, and my husband said, "That fountain reminds me of you."

"Be... cause I like to stand next to ice cream?"

"No, I mean the shape of her body is like yours, especially by the hips. See?"

You can find a rich man, or a tall man, or a man who can soulfully play the guitar, or you can find a man who looks at a sun-splashed moment of art and sees his very flawed wife in the graceful curves.

chose correctly at: mbe@drinktothelasses.com

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Reader Comments (6)

And hence making the entire time share speech / ordeal ENTIRELY endurable :)

July 3, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterstarnarcosis

It's comforting to be reminded that true love is not a myth :-)

Sometimes I also feel uncomfortable with http://www.fileitunder.com/uploaded_images/batman_nipples-772252.jpg" rel="nofollow">american nipples too, you know ;-)

July 3, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterred pill junkie

Very much agreed.

And if it was just a seal doing the aqueous chundering that would be one thing. But I was curious, couldn't make out the details, and found a larger picture on Flickr. We also seem to have a lizard, a turtle and a coiled snake (which, because of the material in which it is rendered, looks vaguely like poo). And in the basin right below the female figure, there are two angry-looking fish and upside-down alligator, also spewing forth with great vigor. That's...a lot of fauna to be spitting, really. What's up with this, Busch Gardens folks?

July 3, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCatherine Beck

Ah, yes, American nipples... The ones I have a problem with are the ones that come pierced with rings, diamond studs, or other paraphernalia. (Shudder!!)

July 4, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTim Hunter

Wow, JTP must be very silver-tongued (or you must be very understanding [or both]) to be able to compare you to any object, even classical art (especially classical art) and not get socked in the face by a purse.

For what it's worth, I was totally reminded of MB when I beheld http://img240.imageshack.us/img240/2089/40giantfountainatpalazzkl9.jpg" rel="nofollow">these fountains at the new Palazzo resort in Las Vegas . . . where I will again be from this coming Thursday through Sunday (July 10-13) so if you're in the neighborhood, say hi.

Actually, Mike, those Vegas fountains are WAY closer to my skin tone than the Busch Gardens one.

July 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMB
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