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Tuesday
Jul012008

This So Did Not Raise Me Up

Josh The Pilot and I cashed in free time share tickets at Busch Gardens yesterday, which is subdivided into the nations of Europe, and yet still charges people five American dollars per beer. Which I desperately needed once we walked through Ireland.

Since when you think Ireland, you think American bald eagles, there were several of them in a little habitat about seventeen paces from the Riverdance Ripoff Theater. They sat on logs and in tufts of grass, looking various degrees of pissed.

"What keeps them from flying away?" Josh wanted to know.

If I were that close to funnel cake four months out of the year, I wouldn't go anywhere, either, but it turns out they'd all had wings ripped out or were horribly injured in various accidents. Each eagle had his own placard, featuring the bird's age and the long, sad tale of how he came to join the eagle DL.

This was all very educational, but kind of a vacash downer. "Look at the birdie, Mommy!" "Yes, Timmy, he flew into a power line and was found scavenging on an Alaskan garbage dump with one workable wing. Now he spends his days overhearing 'I'll Take You Home Again, Kathleen' on an endless loop twelve hours a day as small children vomit at 43 miles an hour." Well, at least they were all having a good hair day.

screech at: mbe@drinktothelasses.com

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Reader Comments (5)

Poor eagles!!!!!

July 2, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKris

It is sad, but I suppose since it is one of your national symbols, plus an endangered species, it is necessary to preserve as many specimens as possible.

And if you think clipped wings are depressing, http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2008/06/080611-AP-eagle-photo.html" rel="nofollow">check this out.

July 2, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterred pill junkie

That wasn't depressing! That was phenomenal!!!

July 2, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKris

I love the title for this entry - it was my Mom's favorite hymn. Thanks for the smile... Of course, now I can't the song out of my head....
:-)

The San Diego Zoo and Wild Animal Park are both major bummers when you read the signs about how endangered the animals are and how many are left in captivity and in the wild. "Let's go to the zoo!" is no longer a rallying cry of joy for a fun outing. Now it's loaded with huge amounts of guilt aimed at us poor humans for even daring to *breath* or having the nerve to inhabit the planet.

And to add insult to injury, you had to make it through another time share presentation! Have you recovered?

July 2, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCA Sailing Lady

Hey. CA Sailing Lady, maybe that was the point! To inspire a feeling of guilt, so it would compell you to sign the time-sharing deal; maybe subconsciously thinking that way you're helping the poor birds, and in a small way you're being also patriotic! :-)

July 3, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterred pill junkie
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