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Wednesday
Apr022008

His Majesty's Facebook Profile

Today I was filling out an online form, because I do not have enough emails from Canadian pharmacies insinuating that I lack a large enough, quote, "LUV STICK." It was affiliated with the National Parks Service, and the form included a drop-down menu which asked for the prefix to my name. Included were the following options:

Duke

Duchess

Admiral

Empress

General

HRH

Lady

Lord

Prince

Princess

Shah

Sir

Sultan

Not that your average duchess isn't online-friendly, but I highly doubt she's logging into the RV and Camping page of the "Virginia Is For Lovers" site in search of information about black bear warnings in Shenandoah National Park. And even if she's on a need-to-know status on permits for backcountry sewage hookups, I am going to go ahead and assume she has people for that.

I signed on as "Princess," of course. No "HRH" here. I mean, let's not be pretentious.

forwarding to sultans at: mbe@drinktothelasses.com

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Reader Comments (11)

Screw pretention! I was born to be an HRH!!!! A princess still has to answer to someone, you know!

April 2, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKris

They forgot "Master Jedi" & "Sith Lord" :-(

April 2, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterred pill junkie

My students dubbed me "HRH Empress Esther!" I thought it rather appropriate. ;)

April 2, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterEsther the S.I.L.

Stupid question... what's HRH? Anyone?

April 2, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterThe Literary Vagrant

I always wanted to be a duchess. I don't know why. I lost my title of princess when my niece was born. I think, now that I am over 30, Empress sounds nice, as does majesty.

BTW: I have a quick Aunt story for you. I, for today, elevate you to the Best Aunt in the World. I simply cannot hold the title today in good conscience. I had to take Emily to the doctor for a checkup. Her mother was assured several times yesterday in making sure it was okay for Aunt Kelly to take her, that there would be no shots today.
As the doctor came in and examined her she asked if I knew about the S-H-O-T-S. I said no and the doctor answered that she neeed 5 today. 5 shots for a 4 year old in perfect health. They only gave her 4 b/c they didn't have the tetanus serum in the office. (She'll get that next time.) My job was not to be comforting and cry with her but to hold her still in my lap using brute force. She cried, I cried. We got stickers and lollypops and movies from the library as a treat but still, I feel like the EVIL Stepmother, not the FUN Aunt. So for today, you wear that hat. And I hope that you never have to take the nephews for thier "checkups" . (Sorry, I just needed to vent.) And her mother gave them a good tongue lashing for lying when she talked to them yesterday. It still doesn't make me feel better though.
They didn't even have good band aids. Even I have Dora Band Aids. It was traumatizing for both of us.

April 2, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKell Belle

HRH = "Her (or his) Royal Highness"

Aunt Kelly, booooo on the dr.'s office! I'm so sorry! That's not your fault, it's the mean doctor's. Oh, no fun at all.

April 2, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMB

MB-
Today I am back to being the best aunt in the world. I am going to a soccer game and FUN AUNT KELLY is taking candy for all the kids. I am rebounding with sugar and gifts. All is right with the world again.

Kell Belle.

April 3, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKell Belle

Actually I think Empress Aunt Kelly has a nice ring to it.

April 3, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKell Belle

Oh, that is a riot. Let me know if you get any travel brochures addressed to Princess MB.

I'm not sure what I would bill myself as. Duke flamed out in the second round against West Virginia when I had them in the Final Four. I have too much respect for our armed forces to go by "Admiral" or "General." "HRH" and "Lord" are way too pretentious, as you mentioned, and "Prince" . . . yeah, no. Then there's "Sultan" and "Shah," which open up giant cans of geopolitical worms I'd rather stay shut, thankyouverymuch.

So I guess it's down to "Sir." I'll let the Queen know I've been knighted.

April 4, 2008 | Unregistered Commentermike

I've been reading from behind the scenes for about 2.5 months now. I must start by saying that I LOVE reading your stuff. Thanks an obnoxious amount for entertaining me. (Also, as every experienced stalker would, I went back and caught up on everySINGLEentry.)
I feel it is terribly important that you know we have the same birthday, which I think is excellent. And, I have two wonderful nephews from one of my older sisters, aren't they marvelous?! (We have a few other things in common, I thought I would stop before it got too creepy.)
The reason I was compelled to comment on this particular entry was the title... I saw no connection between it and the contents, which means I promptly surfed over to my facebook profile and typed in "Josh Hunter." Low and behold, there pop up your piloty husband and the aforementioned nephews. I would have friended, but it felt a little awkward seeing as I hadn't even commented here yet.
For the record, had my family not left the Belgian home country, I actually would be a for real Duchess. Yay!

Duchess Jackie The Reader, hello! I'm so glad you're here, and that you said hello. Thank you for reading. Josh is actually in charge of my Facebook life (I've blocked myself off from it, fully aware of the instant timesuck it would become), and he's created an artist page for me. My Facebook maven sez: Feel free to friend away!

April 4, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMB
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