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Thursday
Mar062008

Older women are hot!

I married a woman older than me, which doomed me to a life of constantly telling her how young she looks. Most of the time I'm successful in convincing MB that she looks 21 to me, but then incidents happen which crush all my efforts. The latest occurrence was last week at a grocery store in Ohio after MB's event at "The Mount". We picked up some celebratory ice cream and sparkling wine, and after going through the checkout, I noticed on the receipt what the cashier had put for MB's birthday, after not asking for her ID.

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Reader Comments (16)

Speaking from a similar perspective, you are always going to have a tough sell because your lovely bride (if she is anything like my lovely bride) can never quite let herself believe you really, really, truly mean it and that you are only saying it because you love her (like that's a bad thing?). Far too many women only see deficiencies when they look in the mirror - if only they could borrow our eyes for a day or two they would have a much different perspective. The kind of perspective that allows fat balding men to wear speedos and still think they look pretty good. OK, maybe that is not a good example - but men in general seem to be much less critical of their own looks.

March 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJames T Kirk

Hey MB -

Having just turned forty in January, I can assure you that you definitely do NOT look as old as I feel! ;-)

It's all relative anyway, and as long as you can keep that dashing pilot of yours trained to say the right things, you're golden!

Cheers!

March 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJules

Oh, MB! Where do I begin?! I have to COMPLETELY agree with my brother on this one. I didn't know your age when I first met you, and I really didn't know you were older than Josh. I HONESTLY thought you were about his age...and even now, years later, you totally don't LOOK any older than I am! I promise, I promise, I promise. (Watch, I'll take a poll in my office.)

March 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterEsther the S.I.L.

...They put your BIRTHDATE in the receipt???

You gringos are mucho loco!

March 7, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterred pill junkie

On second thoughts, I'm guessing the reason this jerk decided MB was almost forty, was because you guys bought red wine. If you had bought a six-pack of beer instead, or some vodka and a couple of Red Bulls, I'm sure this guy would have assumed she was 23 at the most! :-)

March 7, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterred pill junkie

Hey...don't feel bad, MB. Once, at a festival, I had a carney guess my age and he put down 41...I was 22 at the time.

Yeah. I wanted to hurl myelf off the ferris wheel.

From one woman to another, let me assure you: you are lovely. You do not, in any way, look remotely like you're 40 (or 30, for that matter).

Honestly.

March 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAmy P.

Oh, and to really make you feel better. I have a wicked cold, and someone who just called my office thought I was a man. :(

March 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAmy P.

I have adopted my friend Aaron's age solution, which is to always round up to the nearest 5 when asked your age. That way everyone will always say how young you look!

MMMmmmmm Graeters Ice Cream.

March 7, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterstarnarcosis

They put almost the same thing on the receipt for me. I think they just figure if you look anywhere close to old enough to buy booze, it's easier just to put a legally viable age there.
I was born in 58 so I take it as a compliment and frame all of the receipts.

March 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHollee Chadwick Spicer

Oh Lordy, they put those numbers down randomly, don't beat yourself up over something that really isn't personal at all.

March 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRobyn

MB- you don't look a day older than you looked last time you shaved your legs on the couch in our room sophomore year (and believe me, that picture in my head is all too vivid!)! I'm glad to see you've graduated to red wine from codeine!! I cannot imagine how depressing it is when people think you're older than you are, especially since most people think I'm STILL IN HIGH SCHOOL. Yes, it may sound heavenly, but what 30 year old wants to look 15??! I can't even buy alcohol without someone looking at me and muttering that it must be a fake ID. Now, if I look 30 when I'm 60 that might be okay, but with my luck I'll go gray early and I'll go from looking 15 to looking 60 the year I turn 40!

March 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterElisabeth

Hey, hey, HEY! Nothing wrong with being 40! I actually LOVED turning 30- people finally took me seriously. 40... 40 was tougher since the skin starts to go- and the back- and the knees... and it's all downhill from here. But seriously, it's tough to age as a woman, and that's just wrong. It's sad when Paris Hilton thinks she's "mature" at 26! There's so much more living to go and I, personally, plan to keep learning, earn every laugh line, and revel in whatever age I am. And since women are so much tougher than men (try giving birth, boys!) JTP HAS to be younger than you just to keep up!

March 7, 2008 | Unregistered Commenter2xgtld

Oh MB I hear your pain. I was at the car wash the other day and I commented on the little boy behind me having a Thomas the Trian engine. He asked where my kids were and when I said I didn't have any, he said "Oh, are you a grandmom?" I keep telling myself it is b/c grandmoms know about Thomas the Train without having small children. I really hope I don't look that old.

Elisabeth, I've seen your picts. You do look older than when we were in college, definately not like a 15 yr old.

KB

March 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKell Belle

I'm going to take a different perspective here. Not because I think the cashier was right — what an idiot — but because as Admiral Kirk said in Comment #1, it's a tough sell to convince a woman how beautiful she is, and I'm simply not that good a writer. Besides, after her nuptials, that's no longer my place, and I beat that horse to death when she was single, anyway.

What I will do is note that she will never ever look any older relative to her age from here on out. She doesn't smoke, go tanning, or live a hard lifestyle; she does work out, and though she obviously likes ice cream, she's not mainlining it; the only drugs she takes are professionally-prescribed mood enhancers; and if she holds true to form and doesn't have kids, she'll sidestep an awful lot of stress.

So even if that cashier was right (and s/he wasn't; laziness is my prime suspect, though poor eyesight and sheer malice are not being ruled out), in fifteen years every other woman her age will seethe with bitter jealousy, wondering why she doesn't look an instant over 35.

March 10, 2008 | Unregistered Commentermike, 07/13/80

Also, JTP, your move was to hide or burn that receipt before MB saw it. Failing that, if by chance the cashier was male, you are well within your rights (even now) to kick his ass.

No jury in the world would convict you, as long as it had one woman on it.

March 10, 2008 | Unregistered Commentermike, 07/13/80

Very sweet of you to say, and I thank you. What an excellent husband you'll make.

March 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMB
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