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« Varsity | Main | Ode To the eStack »

Two Poppys, One EKG

When Jim The Small Child Nephew was about two, he noticed both of his grandfathers sitting side by side on a couch at a family party. He looked quizzically from one to the other, as apparently he had not heretofore considered that they might coexist. Finally he announced, "Two Poppys!", which seemed to settle the matter. He then returned to his busy day of throwing such things as tantrums.

I wish I could have imported his interpretive skills today, because I woke up with the same alarming chest pains I'd gone to bed with the previous evening. The (drug side-effect commercial voice) discomfort started about two days after I began a course of antibiotics, so I didn't think much of it at first, but when the room starts spinning and you're kept pinned to the bed merely by what feels like a bowling ball lodged in your chest, you... start to think much of it.

Let us stipulate that a person with OCD, a scary drug reaction, and an Internet connection are never a recipie for a peaceful day. By noon I was suffering from a pulmonary embolism and ear cancer, complicated by angina. An hour later I was hooked up to the EKG machine at the nearest emergency clinic, listening to the doctor on call prescribe yet another drug for a very severe case of... heartburn, complicated by stress and taking the antibiotic directly before bed and without food or water or uprightness, precisely not as directed.

At least there's only one of me.

may cause... at: mbe@drinktothelasses.com

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Reader Comments (15)

Oh hun! I think I have done the exact same thing. Except, I didn't go to the doctor (I am a doctor phobe). Get better soon!

February 27, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterChelsea

Good that you went... chest pain is not something to laugh about. We took my father to the ER because we thought he was bleeding in place you don't want to be bleeding from... turned out it was because he had eaten too many Pepto Bismal tablets.

No harm, no foul.

Hope you feel better.

February 27, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCathy Bell

Not to prey on your OCD or anything, but consider having your gallbladder checked out. I had similar symptoms about 6 yrs ago and turns out my gallbladder was the problem. I had symptoms for over a week before I couldn't take it anymore. I had the blasted thing removed and it was one of the best things I did for myself. Gallbladder disease creates symptoms similar to angina, heartburn, a many others.

BTW...I'm liking the new website design. Keep up the good work.

February 27, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHeidi

Get better soon, my beautiful S.I.L.!

February 27, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterEsther the S.I.L.

Last year I spent weeks going in and out of the doctor's office, during which I underwent both an EKG and a Stress Test. The conclusion, after almost a $1,000 in tests? I need to calm the heck down, and stop over scheduling myself. I was convinced I was having heart issues at 27.

February 27, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterToni

Hope you feel better.

And remember: Don't go into the light yet.

February 27, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterred pill junkie

With your imagination and internet skills, I cringe to think of the conditions you were sure you had before you went to the Dr. I am glad you went and got checked out. The last time I had a bowling ball sitting on my heart I self diagonsed "over doing it the say before" when in reality it was internal bleeding pooling around my heart. I have a wonderful scar to remind me, even after all the health problems I have, to never again self diagnose. I am glad you are ok. Sending healing thoughts and prayers.

February 27, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKell Belle

I'm just glad you're ok!!!!

(((many hugs)))

February 27, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJules

It's a good thing you went. As they say, better safe than sorry. Hope you're feeling better soon.

February 27, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCJ

Poor MB! Hope you're feeling better. I'm glad you went to the doctor. Heart pain is never something you should ignore!
I smashed my thumb in a car door last night and am wondering if my thumb is broken...and if I have arthritis in my thumb knuckle...and carpal tunnel in my hand...and bursitis (again) in my shoulder. They're all on the same side, so maybe I could see about having a left arm replacement. I could be just like a Barbie. Snap one off, snap a new one back un place!!!!

February 28, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKris

MB -
glad you're doing good! i completely understand, my fellow hypochondriac!

(don't remember if you said, or if Catholic church doesn't allow, or whatever other scenario - just a friendly reminder, that antibiotics interfere with B.Control...)

Many hugs!

February 28, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLara

[...] Posted on February 28, 2008 by MB Many thanks for the chest-releated concern. I’m on Cipro now, so if anybody is planning an anthrax attack, go ahead [...]

February 28, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterVarsity « Blonde Champag

Whatever you had, I think I caught it. I didn't know the Internet was a conduit for contagion.

Figures; we only get February 29th once every four years, and I'm sick for it.

February 29, 2008 | Unregistered Commentermike, sick freak

Life's been crazy so I haven't been able to keep up with my daily glass of Champagne. A sad, sad thing considering I've been reading your blog since the days of rollerblading around the parking lot.

Fortunately for tax payers everywhere, I'm back at work in my little government-issued cubicle and now have time to catch up on my reading. All this as a very long explanation as to why I'm commenting on this post almost a month late.

When I was pregnant, I had horrible heartburn. The first time it happened, it felt like an elephant was sitting on my chest. I was convinced I was having a heart attack and immediately called my doctor. The office staff showed a marked lack of concern over my life-threatening condition, but were able to get me in right away. Of course, it was heartburn, but it could have been heart FAILURE.

After that incident, Tums were my new best friend...until one night, unable to sleep (probably because of the little foot crammed into my kidney) I peeled the label off the Tums bottle and read a warning about calcium bicarbonate poisoning. I immediately went to the internet and ended up calling my OB/GYN at 2:00 a.m.

Needless to say, for the remainder of my pregnancy, I was on the "Crazy Moms-to-Be" list at her office. I could hear it in the receptionist's voice whenever I called. "Ohhhhhh...helloooo. How are YOU feeling?"

March 27, 2008 | Unregistered Commentermandalion

[...] “I want ballast,” John Adams wrote as a young man; I read this diary entry of his fifteen years ago, and nodded– indeed, Mr. Adams. Like him, I knew at an early age that I would require a mate with an extremely high tolerance for fits of anger, self-pity, wounded vanity, and barely bottled passions… and I have not his great mind to console me. He hung out with George Washington. I? Ram horse-realm antibiotics down my throat with two swallows of water and then lie in bed wondering ... [...]

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