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Monday
Feb252008

Ode To the eStack

Who are you, there upon my Excel spreadsheet?

Are you

youngest, eldest, hungry, of divorce, of Microsoft, of gunshot wound, cutting, dumped, newly infatuated?

the quarterback?

in the middle, not applauded, not shooed aside on the bus, the filler on the roster?

the Christian one, always with the "Excuse me, but..?"

fighting to reinvent--grade school, it didn't go too well, and you are already beginning to suspect that you could win the Nobel Prize and in forty years your classmates will see you on the news and go "Dude! It's the kid who always wore the tee shirt with the tiger head!"

the outcast, two different shoes on purpose, with John Adams in her locker-- the me?

pretty to look at, and so the one who decides who lives or dies at the lunch table?

peaking? (Enjoy.)

the one with green hair, journal crammed with pronouncements of death, mentally composed as your mother serves the meatloaf?

the locker-room bicycle?

the one your peers will suddenly realize is missing at the reunion: "Guam? Really!"

the one who can draw, the one who can sing, the one who can run, the one who can make that awesome noise?

Or don't you even know yet?

the Computer Guy, intolerable?

the one making snide remarks re: the Computer Guy, intolerable, although he shall bear the power to reinstate network wireless capabilities?

in desperate need of Life telling you what it is, 'cause it all rolls your way no matter what, and for this, your future college teachers shall pay?

What are your parents telling you about America?

Do you believe it?

I might hear from you later on

for the Presidency, for murder, from Mars

name on the sheet I'll forget in about two minutes forty seconds or however much longer I've got to go on this thing

but all I know... to me... right now...

is that you

are a person

who cannot use a semicolon.

epoetryslam at: mbe@drinktothelasses.com

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Reader Comments (6)

Oh my gosh! That was seriously hilarious!

February 25, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterChelsea

MB, I have a quote for you that, based on this bit of free verse, might make you laugh aloud at your computer like I did the first time I read it....

Haikus are easy
but sometimes they don't make sense
refrigerator.

My english teacher loved it so much when I showed her the quote (which is on a threadless t-shirt), we spent an entire day writing nonsense haikus. It was fabulous.

February 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSophie

Excellent!

February 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKris

How do you acquire these stacks of essays to grade? It actually sounds like fun.

February 26, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterj.s.

I think you mentioned me about five times.

Also, you dorked up your e-mail address.

Ah, Sophie, that's my favorite Threadless shirt! I wear it all the time and always get comments on it. It's sheer brilliance, as was this post, MB.

I do not envy you the stacks of essays. When I'm grading my second graders' writing I can barely refrain from yelling, "If you use an apostrophe incorrectly one more time I will END YOU!!!"

February 28, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKatie
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