• DRINK TO THE LASSES: Notes from a Woman's College Womb
    DRINK TO THE LASSES: Notes from a Woman's College Womb
    by Mary Beth Ellis
  • Twentysomething Essays by Twentysomething Writers
    Twentysomething Essays by Twentysomething Writers
    Random House Trade Paperbacks
This area does not yet contain any content.
« Technicolor | Main | Congratulations to the People of Detroit »

Your Tax Dollars at Work

I have bad news for everybody.

I got a job.

In precisely double the time in which I was told I'd receive definitive word on whether or not I'd sufficiently blown the interview on a position I don't want but fear turning down, he U.S. government has made a tentative offer to pour a bunch of tax dollars straight down the incompetence hole.

There's one ray of hope for us all:  The offer is pending a background check.  Maybe a big ol' bit of domestic terrorist association will do the trick.  LOOK AT ME, FEDERAL GOVERNMENT, HANGING AROUND WITH PEOPLE WHO WEAR CHE T-SHIRTS!

commuter at:  mbe@drinktothelasses.com

tip the bartender

EmailEmail Article to Friend

Reader Comments (11)

Wooo Hoooo!!!! Good for you MB!! I know it isn't your dream job but congrats no less.

December 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKell Belle

Congrats on the job! Employment is good. Really, I swear!

December 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKris

Congratulations. There are good things about a job - like a steady paycheck and health insurance. There are bad things too, but let's not go there. Tryin' to be positive!

December 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCJ

Just remember all the jobs Hemingway had... you're building your writer's bio blurb!

January 1, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterstarnarcosis

No matter how badly you want to get rejected, be careful what you post. The CIA and/or FBI might already have agents on their way to your doorstep to take you into custody...Those guys are serious.

January 1, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterj.s.

Hey, between the G men throwing money to Fannie May & Freddie Mac, or giving it to you, I pick you every time of the week and twice on Sunday ;-)

So, congratulations on your new job. Remember: It's not what you do what defines you.

January 2, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterred pill junkie

[...] Paring Down Posted on Friday, January 16, 2009 by MB Kind and faithful The Readers such as yourselves may have noticed that Orbital Velocity is no longer with us, and, as of today, Along The Rails goes too.  For quitting is the wages of The Pending Horrible Day Job. [...]

January 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterParing Down « Blonde Cha

[...] week into this now, and I’m sitting here at a weekend distance from beginning my sentence at the Department of Government Governmenting, attempting to assess the uberhighlight of the past five [...]

[...] SuperTarget that clearing one makes room for, I am staggered at the sheer volume of paper waste the Department of Government Governmenting produces.  When I am in Coffee Position One, I hold sway over two wastebaskets– not the [...]

[...] Monday, March 30, 2009 by MB Last week we accidentally got a document meant for another agency at the Department of Government Governmenting.  I savaged the envelope open in my usual wolverine manner, only to find THE WHITE HOUSE at the [...]

[...] since the advent of my very very important work at the Department of Government Governmenting,  which involves a six-block angry hurtle two and from the train station, the locking incidents [...]

Comments for this entry have been disabled. Additional comments may not be added to this entry at this time.