• DRINK TO THE LASSES: Notes from a Woman's College Womb
    DRINK TO THE LASSES: Notes from a Woman's College Womb
    by Mary Beth Ellis
  • Twentysomething Essays by Twentysomething Writers
    Twentysomething Essays by Twentysomething Writers
    Random House Trade Paperbacks
This area does not yet contain any content.
Sunday
May172015

God Took a Meeting With Michael Bay

This right here is the most badass depiction of Pentecost I've ever seen. I like how the Holy Spirit is depicted as Flaming Meteors of Vehemence rather than tame little licks of flame that just kind of float around like drunk dandelion tufts. It's like God took a meeting with Michael Bay:

GOD THE FATHER:  I need it to look super-cool. But different from anything else I've done. Like, I'm over floods and sea stuff.

MICHAEL BAY:  What about if a huge metal robot crashes down in front of them and cracks the Earth in a hjillion million places and then Megan Fox bends over a whole lot?

GOD THE FATHER:  Yeah, no.

HOLY SPIRIT:  I could do the dove thing again.

JESUS:  Yeah, I've been meaning to tell you, that was lame, bro. Like all my friends were watching and Dad makes this big booming pronouncement and then this bird drifts down?  Anticlimactic.

MICHAEL BAY: What you need is a giant fireball.

GOD THE FATHER:  YES.

JESUS: Multiple fireballs.  These guys are into big huge enormous signs.  They're not the brightest grapes on the vine TBH.

MICHAEL BAY:  And then there's a whole bunch of helicopter, and tanks, and lasers, and they all explode!!!!! And Megan Fox wears a transparent white outfit and runs away!

HOLY SPIRIT:  I... no. I'm leaving.

JESUS:  Tell Mom I said hi.

Monday
May042015

The Empty Ballpark 

I get to be The Girl again over at Redleg Nation:  Getting to OK

Wednesday
Apr292015

RE: Recent TBDBITL News

Nothing prepares you for seeing the face of someone you know--laughed with, cried with-- staring back at you in  a mugshot.

As The Readers know, I met Stew Kitchen in the process of writing this book. I presume to consider him a friend and am in shock. While he has a crackling personality, I never saw this man do violence and it never occurred to me that he was capable of what he's just been accused of. He always treated me with respect even when we spoke alone. Beyond that, I have no idea what's going on, and will assume innocence until I see hard evidence to prove otherwise. Please just pray for his family and the band during this unending nightmare for them.

Sunday
Mar292015

It's Beginning to Smell A Lot Like Winter Despair. And Opening Day.

I'm now a monthly columnist with Redleg Nation. Installation #1. It's about scaaaaaaaaannndal.

Monday
Mar162015

Nine Words Clawing Their Way Back From Exinction